Dating sucks. . At least at my age. When I was first divorced at age 42 I spent a couple of years hiding out hoping no one would notice me and ask me out cause the thought of dating after being married for 18 years was terrifying. Gradually, I overcame that fear and decided (at the constant nagging of my younger friends) to try the internet dating thing.
First up was E-harmony which I now call e-discord. That was the site that I met Chapter 2 and Chapter 4 of the book I’m still working on. It’s a work in progress really until I meet Mr. Right. Chapter 2 is Pat the Pervert…Equally Awful and Chapter 4 is Matt the Magician….Illusions of love. E Harmony is supposed to be a Christian dating site which I know is no guarantee. I complained to them after my Pat the Pervert experience. Scary guy. I even called the Kansas FBI about him. That experience alone should have prevented me from ever going on line again. Chapter 4 Matt was a sweetheart though and I think if he had lived closer than North Carolina that might have made a difference. Or not. I still laugh when I think about him. Definetly the funniest man I've ever met.
Match.com was next up and suffice to say I got burned! Match.com is responsible for Chapter 3 which is Dennis the dumper….from sizzle to fizzle. Sort of fitting that I met a “hot” guy on “match”.com huh? I take a great deal of responsibility for this disaster. I can’t go into details because people who would go Ooh, gross read my blog. (i.e.dad and kids) I was smitten from the moment I shook his hand. He was the proverbial “make me weak in the knees” guy. I felt that feeling that you get when you almost hit a squirrel and your heart is pounding out of your chest . Probably that “attraction” is what caused me to throw caution to the wind and put myself in a very compromising position. I won’t say more. Just that after said encounter with Dennis I was blamed for everything from his dad’s heartattack, to his daughters car wreck, to his Youth Director position being taken to part time. Jezabel that I am….NOT! Imagine what would have happened if I had actually gone to 3rd base!
I can’t attribute Chapter 1 Dan the Truckdriving Man…love is not that blind to a dating site. This one was a blind date and even though it didn’t work out, I think I’d like to try this again. I thought about a blind date contest where any of my friends set me up with someone they know and if it ends up with a 2nd date they win a $25 gift certificate to Walmart. Throw some incentive to match me up In there and I bet I’d have a lot more people thinking of someone they know that would be perfect for me. I’d have to set up perimeters though. Must be over 50 (I don’t like younger men), at least 5 ft 6” (must be taller than me)……alive and breathing.
I also can’t attribute my 5 year relationship Chapter 5 to the dating sites. That was a 5 year relationship in which one party checked out after 3 . I met this one at Church and thought he was the one. Unfortunately, he didn’t think I was the one and didn’t bother to tell me for 5 years. That one still stings and thus the chapter hasn’t been written. Waiting for the bitterness to subside so I can tell that story unbiased.
Or Chapter 6 Rats! Gone with the Breeze. Can’t really even call this a date because my intention was just to get to know a man I found funny and interesting. I would have been happy just to have him as a friend because he made me laugh and I just liked him…..he came to dinner at my house and I never heard from him again. No text, no call, no email, no facebook message. I’m pretty sure the food didn’t poison him, my dog didn’t bite him and he seemed to enjoy the conversation. That one is a mystery. I keep telling myself He’s the one who missed out. But it still hurts to be totally blown off with no explanation.
I got on PlentyofFish.com (Plentyofsardines)one day and signed up. Within a day I had a message from some VERY weird guy in Arkansas whose photo was of him smiling and showing that he had no front teeth. His message remarked on the fact that the photo of me was one in which I was holding a new tv I had just bought, still in the box and yes it was intentional on my part because it hid my body so in a way I deserved what I got. His message said “come out from behind the tv, pretty lady. Some of us men like a woman with meat on her bones.” Totally creeped me out. I got off that site
My last venture into the world of dating was to try Speed dating. I actually had a great time and would do it again even though none of the 5 men I met that night checked lets meet again and opted for no thanks. 3 of the 5 I had checked ‘lets meet again” and so I was disappointed and left once again questioning what I did wrong. After a good cry upon receiving the “you had no matches” email from the speed dating coordinator, I decided not to let it get to me. Maybe I should have checked them all to increase my odds though Speeddater #2 was very weird and made me feel uneasy and Speeddater # 4 wouldn’t look me in the eyes and that was weird. Talked up a storm but not once did he look at me. One of my high school classmates remarked on my facebook post that I was going to do the speeddating thing “wish that all of mine had been”..Now that’s funny. The “bonus” of the speed dating thing is that since I had ZERO men interested in me, I get to do it again FREE because they guarantee at least one “match”. I may break their bank on this one. Seriously though I am looking forward to round two. I am going to be totally different than my natural personality and see what happens. Instead of friendly and open I’m gonna be rude and not talk at all and use one word answers when asked anything. This will test my theory that men prefer ___itches. They have all different categories. Maybe instead of doing the 48-59 professional men and women category again , I’ll try the older women, younger men category. Or the category for younger women, older men where at 52 I’m considered young. Just to mix it up a bit.
Or maybe I will just keep on doing what I’m doing, living my life, enjoying my friends and family and work and Church and hobbies. Being single is actually OK most of the time. Independence is underrated. I am capable, honest, kind, loving, creative, funny, loyal and smart. I am a good person. Married or not.
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