Most of the time I am cheerful and optimistic. I have chosen to live my life with the attitude that there is a silver lining in every cloud. That there is light at the end of every tunnel. And while I can’t say every day is a good one, my bad days are few and far between. I think it’s a matter of attitude that keeps me in this glass half full state of mind on the days when my patience is at its end and nothing I do seems to turn out as planned.
I have been blessed with the gift of being able to find humor in most every situation. My friends love this about me because they know that even when they are at their lowest point, I will usually say something that makes them laugh. Sometimes I laugh out loud at a thought that has popped into my head and ignore the looks of strangers who look around to see what I find so funny.
I look forward to lunch at work everyday not for the food, or the break but because it’s an opportunity to laugh. Always, my co-workers and I have a great time. One funny comment triggers another and there are days that I return to my desk with no makeup having laughed until I cried and washed it away.
On the rare day, I don’t feel like talking or smiling because I don’t feel well or just because, everyone notices and thinks I’m mad at them, or that something is wrong.
Sometimes suppressing that urge to wallow in misery when I find I owe this year on my taxes, or that my car is making a funny noise, or when someone says something that hurts my feelings is a difficult thing to do.
But it’s on these days, when I’m tempted to be down that I usually look up. It’s on these days that you will hear the soft music of a Christian CD coming from my computer. Its these days that instead of listening to a book on cd while driving home from work that I have a Chris Tomlin CD cranked to the max, or no sound at all except my voice, praying aloud, talking to God.
Sometimes I will simply hold out my hand and say “here God, take these worries” or “here’s the situation and I need your guidance” And He does.
And I remind myself when sometimes it feels like everything is going wrong that a week from now those stressful situations won’t even matter anymore.
If you simply accept that sometimes things happen for a reason then life is a lot easier to live. Hindsight is 20/20 is really true. I can look back months or even years later at something that didn’t go the way I wanted it to at the time and see clearly the reasons. And there are other things that I don’t understand and probably won’t until I get to Heaven someday and can ask God about them. There is a true peace in being able to say, yes I am disappointed, or hurt, or mad about a situation, but things happen for a reason and this too shall pass.
In my early 20’s I was in a bad relationship. I couldn’t see a way out and I stayed stressed out and a bundle of nerves most of the time. I would go to my mom’s house in Kingfisher and she would try to calm me down with words and advice and plain old TLC. When that didn’t work she would give me a muscle relaxer that had been prescribed for a back injury she had suffered. She wouldn’t take any kind of drug because she was afraid of the side effects. She’d rather have the pain. Pretty sad ,really. My own mother giving me drugs to make me relax. I didn’t have a strong faith at the time. I felt pretty alone and with no one to turn to when things got rough at home, which was pretty frequent. She gave me a plaque one Christmas that said “I can’t calm down, tension is holding me together”. I look back and it’s hard to believe that the saying could even have applied to me.
Because now I have found the secret to that peaceful, calm, life is under control state of mind. Should I forget I have reminders around my home. The Frog on my porch (Fully Rely on God) the sunflowers in my office (follow the Son) and the crosses on my bedroom wall (here’s your sign). I simply look UP when I’m down.
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