Sometimes what shows on the outside is not representative of whats on the inside. Don’t judge a book by its cover….its whats on the inside that counts…..beauty comes from within…….we’ve all heard those sayings. I was thinking about it the other day.
Yesterday, Joe smoked a turkey. The night before as I was putting oil on the turkey before he smoked it I asked why I was doing that since this was the first turkey I have actually handled in 53 years. Gross! I’d rather not see it raw. Pulling that neck thing out was disgusting. Anyway, Joe said, well the oil is so that the skin will come out a nice golden brown. I had visions then of taking the lid off the smoker the following day and seeing a turkey worthy of a commercial.
When Joe pulled the top of the smoker I burst out laughing. The golden brown was a charred black. Joe said, its ok, its just a little too done…..that was the understatement of the year. I jokingly asked if he was Cajun since we seemed to have a blackened turkey. We carried it inside and he assured me that when I came home later for dinner the turkey would be edible. Amazingly, when I arrived home the smell of smoked turkey was heavenly. He had deboned it, put it in a pan with a little water and had it warming in the oven. And…lo and behold that turkey was the best smoked turkey I have ever eaten. It was so moist and tender it tasted more like a ham. I had to apologize for my lack of faith. But, if you had seen the turkey (I wish I had taken a picture) you would have laughed too.
So ….lesson learned…don’t judge a turkey by it’s skin color. Come to think of it, that’s a good rule to follow in regard to people too. We run across it often in Hospice. A lot of times we will have families tell us they don’t want our black nurse or aide to visit them. Which is a shame because they are incredible, giving, loving professionals that I am proud to call friends.
Before Chris married Juliet, who is Mexican, I never gave much thought to people making derogatory comments about other nationalities. I had become de-sensitized. The other day one of the marketers started to tell me a joke that began “there were these 2 mexicans….I stopped him and said, does it matter to the joke that they are Mexicans? Of course, he said. Why?, I asked. Well just listen to the joke, he said. I said, only if you change it to there were these 2 people and it comes out the same. He looked at me confused. If it’s a joke that is derogatory to Mexicans, I don’t want to hear it I said. My daughter in law is from Mexico and she is one of the most beautiful , inside and out people I know. Her family is too. He walked away without telling me the joke.
A few days later he called and apologized. He had told the joke to someone at his other workplace. Unbeknownst to him, that person had a Hispanic spouse. She had not said anything when he told the joke. When he walked away, another co-worker called him over and told him. He said he felt bad the rest of the day.
The other day in Walmart there was a young lady, probably in her 20’s that was riding in one of those motorized shopping carts doing her shopping. When she went around the corner of the aisle I was on one lady said to another nearby…”she should be ashamed of herself. That is downright lazy”. The other shopper looked at her and said “that’s so and so’s daughter..she is paralyzed from the waist down. Her wheelchair is at the front of the store. Her dad lifts her into the cart so she can shop. “Oh, the woman who had made the remark said..I didn’t know. “ Well now you do, said the other shopper…and you should be ashamed of yourself.
Sometimes, we offend without meaning to. At work, I am playing my Christian Christmas cd very, very low volume. My atheist co-worker would be very offended otherwise. When we decorated doors of our patients at the nursing homes last week, we inadvertently decorated the door of a patient who’s family is Jehovah Witness and they were very offended. A co-worker bought a book for a friend who had just had a baby …without realizing it the book had a section where you put the baby’s handprint and footprint on a page with a poem about 10 little fingers and 10 little toes. It was only when her daughter pointed out to her that the baby was born with 11 fingers and 11 toes that she realized how offensive and hurtful that might have been to her friend. Luckily, my gay co-worker has a sense of humor. Making gift sacks the other day the glitter on the ribbon was coming off in large amounts. Another co-worker, was picking up glitter globs and “glittering” others. When she “glittered” the gay co-worker she said “its fairy dust….er… I mean happy dust…” He laughed. Had she not called attention to her gaff, he would have not even have noticed the derogatory “slang.
All of us have an Achilles heel. An vulnerable spot that when poked can hurt us or cause us more pain than intended. When we know people well, we usually know what that vulnerable spot is and we can avoid touching it. With strangers, and people we don’t know well…we don’t know. If we all “filtered” our conversations so that we are not downing, making fun of or engaging in mean spirited gossiping what a better world it would be.
Funny, how I’ll be thinking about something and open my daily words of wisdom calendar and the quote or Bible verse for that day will be about what I am thinking about. I looked at my calendar a few seconds ago in the middle of writing this blog…
It's your heart, not the dictionary, that gives meaning to your words. A good person produces good deeds and words season after season. An evil person is a blight on the orchard. Let me tell you something: Every one of these careless words is going to come back to haunt you. Matthew 12:36-37 The Message Bible
Don’t let your careless words pain to someone. Think before you speak. You never know who may be listening. You may save yourself some major foot in your mouth moments.
Hoping I haven’t offended with anyone……have a great day. LeeAnn
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