Gratitude's and attitude

A co-worker and I were discussing negativity today because we have been exposed to a lot of it in the past few months as our office has changed owners and a lot of changes have been made.  Most of the negativity comes from having to learn new paperwork, new systems, new timesheets, adjust to new managers and being shorthanded  due to some turnover. 

While she has been through great personal loss in the last month, she has nonetheless managed to leave her sadness and grief at the door and come in with a good attitude and get her job done.  I’m sure there are days she’d rather be alone and not dealing with everyone   but she but she is simply grateful to have a job right now. 

I have had a period of great personal “gain”, and while work has been a little tough lately due to the changes, I am feeling loved and blessed and happy as happy can be.  This isn't to say that I don't have problems and annoyances because I do.  I have simply made up my mind to have a good attitude no matter what come my way. 

My co-worker told me she read somewhere that negativity is like water in a ship.  When it starts seeping in to the ship for a while no one really notices, the ship’s navigation may not be affected all that much. But pretty soon, that small flow of water becomes a big problem and the ship eventually will sink if the hole isn’t plugged.  The article was talking about how human spirit is affected by negativity.  Like the ship, a few negative emotions, thoughts and complaints may not be enough to ruin your day….but the more you allow to happen the more  weighed down you get until eventually, nothing seems to be going right and you find yourself in a state of anger, hopelessness or hostility.

It’s true that no matter how bad things are for you,  emotionally, financially, spiritually or otherwise you can look around and easily find someone that you wouldn’t trade places with because their pain is so much deeper or their financial situation so much worse than your own.  I’ve started reminding the negative people in my life of that when I can. 

Many years ago Oprah Winfrey suggested a gratitude journal.  At the time it seemed kind of silly.  But I was in a particularly stressful period in my life.  Still I decided I would try it and I was amazed at how much better I felt when I had to weed through all the negative things and find a positive every day.  In doing so, I realized that there were a whole lot more good things in my life than bad.

Sometime, like the ship example, it’s the little things seeping in that can cause the boat to capsize.  Today when I got in my car and it had a new rattle I felt my myself thinking “woe is me’ thoughts but then I thanked God that I have a car and that I have a husband now that can diagnose my rattles and that I have money in the bank for a repair. 

The point is, for every negative thought you have if you make it a habit to follow it up with a positive thought about why that situation is not all that bad or why that situation could be worse, you end up with a much happier countenance because truly there are blessings all around us that we sometimes overlook in our rush to be critical or dissatisfied.

At my Church, during the Pastoral prayer, our pastor gives the congregation to speak out things that they are grateful for, asking anyone that would like to call out a special joy.  He also says, or just say special joy if you want.  Surprisingly, there are usually only a few joys called out.  I usually say “special joy” under my breath.  I wonder what it would be like if everyone in the congregation called out special joy or an actual joy at the invitation to do so.  After all, there is not a single person sitting in that congregation that shouldn’t be grateful that they are able to sit in that congregation.

In contrast, when the congregation is asked to lift up concerns or simply say special prayers, there are usually a lot of voices calling out names at the same time.  Seems there are  always more concerns lifted than joys.   I usually say under my breath as people call out names of friends and relatives who are sick or are suffering or in need of prayer “Lord, I am grateful for their compassion”.  

In a few short weeks one of my good friends’ lost her dad, her husband lost his job, her pregnant daughter was put on bed rest to stop contractions that were happening way too soon, another daughter was diagnosed with possible MS, and she was sick with no paid time off left to use to stay home and rest.  I imagine there were many days that she wanted to scream at the people around her. She didn't. I give her great credit for that.  I'm not sure in her position I would be that strong.

Walking tonight there was a lady on the track that had her dog with her.  The dog was trotting along nearby as she walked.  Next to the track is a small area marked in feet that is a “driving range”…or an attempt at one.  Everything was fine until the dog spotted the golfer and decided to chase the balls.  As the owner frantically called the dog to come to her the lady golfer started after the dog screaming obscenities at the dog and the owner.   I stopped, turned off the music I was listening to (happened to be Chris Tomlin singing Amazing Grace ironically) and approached the golfer.  By the time I reached her, the dog was back at his owner’s side.  “I hate dogs she said.  And I hate people that don’t control their dogs even worse.”    That’s too bad, I said, cause I think people who hate dogs are missing out on a whole lot of joy. “  She started to laugh.  And said “ I don’t really hate dogs.  I’m just mad because I can’t hit the stupid ball more than 50 feet. ..then she called out to the dog owner and the dog “I’m sorry, I just lost my temper.”  The dog and owner kept walking.  Good luck with your swing, I said as I walked away.   

The rest of my walk wasn’t nearly as enjoyable.  I kept thinking about the lady and how upset she had gotten over a dog retrieving a ball.  I watched as the dog and dog owner left the track and drove away. How different it could have gone had the golfer simply reacted with some degree of humor or compassion instead of anger and outrage. 

It’s a choice we all make. We can wallow in our troubles or we can find value in the strife.  We will all have troubles in this lifetime.  God speaks to that in the Bible.  No one will pass through this life unscathed.   If we can learn to find the beauty in the ashes, the joy within the sorrow, the good in even the worst of times what a great thing that would be.

An attitude of gratitude.  Something to strive for.