This week is a chance for me to celebrate three days that a couple of years ago I wouldn’t have imagined would be on my calendar. Tuesday, Joe and I will celebrate our one year anniversary. It’s hard to believe that a year has gone by since that day we pledged in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, to death do us part. Little did we know at the time how dramatically our lives would change in just a few months and for me in particular my life has little resemblance to what it was a year ago. Through it all, Joe has been a rock by my side, comforting me when I lost a job I loved, cheering me on rejection after rejection as I struggle to find a job. We have had an amazing year together and I can honestly say that I haven’t had a moment of doubt that he is the man that God intended for me to be with for the rest of my life. When we met in the summer of 2011, it was just when I had begun to doubt that there were any good men left in the world. After a particularly bad string of “dates” I had decided that it was time to take a break from dating and just accept the fact that as much as I wanted to share my life with someone, it wasn’t gonna happen. And then boom. Just like that I was falling in love and counting my blessings that this man saw through the imperfections and loved me just as I am. And unconditionally. I remember a few months into our relationship I had a particularly bad day with my blood sugar levels. I was lying on my bed after being told by my doctor that my choices were to go to the hospital, or go on insulin immediately and wanting to do neither I was in a state of complete brokenness. I remember telling Joe that I would understand if he bailed on me…because my diabetes was not going to go away and was a battle I would have to face daily. He, on the other hand, didn’t have to.deal with it. And he stayed. The first time he saw the sleep apnea gear, the cpap mask that makes me look like darth vader I expected him to bail. He stayed. When I lost my job I expected him to be just as freaked out as I was. He wasn’t. He calmly assured me that whatever happened, we were a team. And when I have a moment of self doubt, when I describe myself as an old, overweight, unemployed, diabetic with sleep apnea “gem how amazing is it to hear him say how grateful he is that he captured my heart and how blessed he feels that there were so many morons out there that failed to see the gem right before them. He feels like he won the lottery when he found me. And the feeling is mutual. I expect to celebrate our 25th anniversary at the ripe old age of 78 and maybe even our 50th though I doubt we would remember it if we made it to 103. LOL I can’t wait to celebrate all the joys we have to come and I know the sorrows and challenges will be much easier to navigate with him by my side.
Valentines day is also this week and I was looking back through my blogs and my Valentines day blog of 2011 was entitled “I Hate Valentines Day”. As a single person, it had become something of a challenge to get through the day of co-workers getting flowers and dinners for two specials at every restaurant in town. Somehow, getting a Valentine from a friend or relative just didn’t make me feel better. It was a day of “the world is made for couples” thinking. It was a day that I thought “what’s wrong with me?” not “what’s wrong with them”. And when the day came and went, I always felt a huge sense of relief. It never occurred to me that maybe I was one of the lucky ones. That getting roses from a spouse who was only following the “rules” and not really feeling the” love” would be much worse than being single. Still, every Valentines day I might as well have had a big L for loser on my forehead. And now that I’m married, I see how totally stupid it was to feel like that. A date on a calendar, a card and a dinner for two doesn’t define who you are as a person. At the end of that I HATE VALENTINES DAY blog, which detailed all the miserable dates I had endured in my search for love, I wrote “Being single is actually OK most of the time. Independence is underrated. I am capable, honest, kind, loving, creative, funny, loyal and smart. I am a good person. Married or not.”. Wise words! All my single friends count your blessings that you haven’t settled for the “wrong person”. Mr. Right and Mr. Right now are two different things. Patience if you long for love and Congratulations if you have decided that Single is your chosen path and you embrace it, think Valentines day is stupid and spend the day celebrating that you aren’t stuck with a moron. LOL
And finally, Friday is Joe’s 55 birthday. 55 and still alive. Hahaha. I remember when I thought 55 was ancient. Now I realize that its only the beginning…of another year in this thing we call life. 55 years of knowledge and wisdom. 55 years of struggles and adversity. 55 years of joys and sorrows. It’s impossible to think of Joe’s birthday without thinking about the little boy of 5 who spend a birthday in a Children’s home without his parent. Or the little boy who got a cake and presents on his childhood birthdays, only to have those presents put into the community toy box. What many of us take for granted, a birthday with our family and friends, he did without. And that adversity shaped him into the amazingly resilient man he is today. A man with a heart of gold. A birthday gift to me every day I spend with him. A diamond among the cubic zirconias…lol….I am so blessed to be his wife.
And so the week ahead is a week of days to celebrate …….. I love you Joe!
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