This following is a Guest blog. I was so impressed with my beautiful daughter
in laws “testimony” that I wanted to share it.
Many of you know that last year, 4 days after moving here to Austin and
starting my new job and being so filled with happiness knowing that I was going
to be a Grandmother and be in the same
city when my first grandchild was born, Juliet suffered a miscarriage. To make it even a deeper pain, it happened on
her birthday. Her birthday was spent in
the hospital and there were no words to express how painful that was for us
all. My son Chris was a rock for her and
I was so grateful, and in hindsight believed God placed me here in Austin so
that I would be here for support for them.
Watching them pull together and continue to praise God in their
circumstances was an amazing testimony in resilience. I have not known how to comfort her because I
have never been in her shoes. I know that at times I have felt the overwhelming
sadness that she must feel hundreds of times more than I when I walk by a baby
section or like Juliet says, see a my first Christmas ornament. And while I have never suffered that loss,
there have been times in my life where I wanted to throw up my hands to God and
say “WHY?” And I
look back now and see that it was during some of those darkest hours that my faith
grew stronger just as Juliet and Chris’s has.
Sometimes, it’s easy to forget in the hoopla of the holiday season when
things are going great in your life that there are people around you
shouldering burdens in their own life…job loss, miscarriage, death of a love
one, loneliness and divorce. I learned
recently that a co-worker of mine, one who always has a smile and a word of
encouragement for everyone she encounters has been living in her car for months….too
proud to ask for help. I guess my point
is that sometimes you just don’t know what a person has in their heart and so
it’s doubly, triplely (not sure that’s a word) important to go out of your way to be kind in
all circumstances. In every season…Christmas, Easter, Fall,
Winter, Spring and Summer…God is there. I
thought of a song that became an anthem for me while I was struggling to accept
the end of a marriage that I didn’t want to end, that I thought would be
forever. I even sang this song at my mom’s
Gospel barn and somewhere in the stack of video tapes my mom made of every barn
performance there is one of me, singing this song and breaking down in the
middle of it. My mom lovingly came up on
stage, took the microphone from my hand and asked for prayer saying to the
audience , please pray for my beautiful daughter and her boys as they need God’s
arms around them right now.” I will
never forget that moment and I say it to you all now…to any of you that are
suffering….Gods arms are around you.
They are holding you a little tighter right now. You will be ok. God has another plan. Peace and love this season.
Juliets’ words:
This Christmas...
December 7, 2013 at 7:45pm
As the holidays are right
around the corner I can’t stop thinking about the many blessings I have. I was
listening to a praise song that said: In every season of my life, You are who
You are, and You will always be… God. It really touched my heart and for the
first time in a long time I understood what those words really meant.
I could sit here and rant about many things that I don’t understand and don’t like in my life… Work and how stressful it has become, my constant need for things to do and not get bored, health scares and of course money… but by far the most traumatic experience we have gone through in this 2013 is the miscarriage…Wow, I just realized I could really say some bad things about that one. No one can begin to understand what it is like unless it has happened to you. Spouses included. I love Chris with all of my heart but not even he can understand how big the loss really was. Not because he loved our baby any less than I did, but because he is not a woman. He didn't feel all the pregnancy struggles, specially in the beginning, when all you do is feel tired and crapy. He didn’t think: it sucks to feel nauseated as soon as you wake up but It will all be worth it in 9 months.
I could say that it hit me as I was putting up the christmas tree ornaments that I don’t get to have one that says : Baby’s first christmas… or there won’t be a baby pic on our christmas card this year.
I can’t even imagine how anyone can go through such pain without God… I’m sorry, I just can’t.
Life is full of disappointments sometimes and sometimes, as a friend said once, life flat out sucks.! Life on earth, that is. We go through though times, times when things don’t make sense at all, and when having faith is the hardest is when God teaches me that He is always there, even in the silence, even when money is tight, even when works sucks and you just wanna punch someone on the face, even when you lose your precious baby.
And in times when I just want to quit everything in my life is when God reveals Himself more and more and shows me His love for me and how nothing that I ever go through is gonna change that. He will always be there.
2013 was by far the most challenging year I have ever had. But it was also full of blessings. I have the most amazing life companion, who loves me and cares for me like no one has ever have, who treats me like a queen and who says I am beautiful (even with the extra pounds). I could have not picked a better spouse and friend than him had I done it myself. I am so blessed that God chose him to be my husband.
I finally decided to get involved with my church family who are amazing and have thought me what friendship means. I, for the first time in my life, became a member of a small church group who I love. I have new friendships. I have 2 puppies who will always be my babies. I have my family that I love so much.
I have a lot to be thankful for.
So in a year full of struggles and tests, all I can say is that I finally understand that:
IN EVERY SEASON OF MY LIFE, YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE, AND YOU WILL ALWAYS WILL BE… GOD.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTLHQRnEM2o
I could sit here and rant about many things that I don’t understand and don’t like in my life… Work and how stressful it has become, my constant need for things to do and not get bored, health scares and of course money… but by far the most traumatic experience we have gone through in this 2013 is the miscarriage…Wow, I just realized I could really say some bad things about that one. No one can begin to understand what it is like unless it has happened to you. Spouses included. I love Chris with all of my heart but not even he can understand how big the loss really was. Not because he loved our baby any less than I did, but because he is not a woman. He didn't feel all the pregnancy struggles, specially in the beginning, when all you do is feel tired and crapy. He didn’t think: it sucks to feel nauseated as soon as you wake up but It will all be worth it in 9 months.
I could say that it hit me as I was putting up the christmas tree ornaments that I don’t get to have one that says : Baby’s first christmas… or there won’t be a baby pic on our christmas card this year.
I can’t even imagine how anyone can go through such pain without God… I’m sorry, I just can’t.
Life is full of disappointments sometimes and sometimes, as a friend said once, life flat out sucks.! Life on earth, that is. We go through though times, times when things don’t make sense at all, and when having faith is the hardest is when God teaches me that He is always there, even in the silence, even when money is tight, even when works sucks and you just wanna punch someone on the face, even when you lose your precious baby.
And in times when I just want to quit everything in my life is when God reveals Himself more and more and shows me His love for me and how nothing that I ever go through is gonna change that. He will always be there.
2013 was by far the most challenging year I have ever had. But it was also full of blessings. I have the most amazing life companion, who loves me and cares for me like no one has ever have, who treats me like a queen and who says I am beautiful (even with the extra pounds). I could have not picked a better spouse and friend than him had I done it myself. I am so blessed that God chose him to be my husband.
I finally decided to get involved with my church family who are amazing and have thought me what friendship means. I, for the first time in my life, became a member of a small church group who I love. I have new friendships. I have 2 puppies who will always be my babies. I have my family that I love so much.
I have a lot to be thankful for.
So in a year full of struggles and tests, all I can say is that I finally understand that:
IN EVERY SEASON OF MY LIFE, YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE, AND YOU WILL ALWAYS WILL BE… GOD.
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