When I was a little girl, I loved to play dress up. My mom had a box and she would put clothes and old jewelry and hats and shoes and I would play for hours in front of the mirror. Since I had 3 brothers and only one sister who was much too young to play with, I usually would play alone. I would make up stories as I put on different things. It was fun and I think a way of escape for me. For a few minutes I could be someone else and not the scared little girl I really was.
My dad is a wonderful man and if you saw my 30 day photo thing this week you will see that he is Day 11, the person I know I can always count on. That wasn’t always so. When I was a little girl, my home was turmoil. My dad was a drinker and a traveling salesman so he was gone a lot and even when he was home you just never knew if he would be sober or not. When he became a Christian in 1983, it was an answer to a prayer my mom had prayed most of her marriage. I have many wonderful memories of my childhood too though and many of them center around my dad. When he was there and not drinking he would treat me like a princess. He would make me French toast, take me to work with him, take me shopping. He even took me to buy my first bra when my mom insisted that I was not ready for one. (I wasn’t but some of my friends were and I felt left out).
More often than not though I can remember him drinking and my mom and him arguing and I would often go to the crawl space under the house which you could access from my closet. I would sit in that little space with flashlight and a book and I would block out the sounds of chaos and escape into someone else’s life. I think that may be where my love of reading comes from. Books and dress up were a way for me to be someone else. Also probably why I am claustrophobic.
I loved Halloween as a kid and not just because of the candy. It was fun to think of who you wanted to be for a day. I usually had to be whatever my mom could come up with out of whatever things we had in the house. My brothers were almost always hobos and I usually was a gypsy wearing a peasant skirt and every piece of costume jewelry my mom could load me down with. I think one year there was money to buy a store bought costume but it wasn’t nearly as cool as some of the costumes my mom would come up with for us.
The only adult Costume Party I ever went to I was dressed as an angel and my husband was a devil. Art imitating life. LOL I kept losing my halo which was too loose. And my wings kept getting caught in the doorway. So I ditched those accessories and just started saying I was a fallen angel when anyone asked what I was.
As an adult, my life has been much more stable and I don’t feel the need to be someone that I am not The few times I have dressed up have been for reasons other than to escape.
Once my co-workers and I decided that we would dress up as the Wizard of OZ characters and visit the nursing homes on Halloween. What a fun day that turned out to be. I was the tin man. My little Yorkie Quincy was our designated toto. We rented our costumes and could hardly wait for the Halloween so we could dress up (and get out of the office for the day!) Since we were leaving as soon as we all got to work as we had promised several nursing homes we would come that day, I went ahead and put on my tin man costume at home. I put Quincy’s leash on him and out the door we went. As I was locking the door behind me, Quincy in his impatience and excitement to be outside for a “walk” pulled out of his collar and took off down the street. I dropped my purse and began to chase him. Imagine that sight in your mind for a moment. A yorkie running down the street with a Tin man chasing after him. The kids at the bus stop did a double take and then one of them (bless her heart) joined in the chase and caught Quincy for me.
Arriving at work I found my friend Benecia in the bathroom in her lion costume refusing to come out because the costume was so tight it fit her like a glove. And not a flattering glove. Once we coaxed the cowardly Lion out of the bathroom by assuring her that she could carry Dorothy’s picnic basket and thus cover up the area where the suit was the tightest (don’t ask)..we were ready to go.
That was truly one of the most fun days of my life and the nursing home residents fully enjoyed us visiting. Many of them were also in costume and the smiles on their faces were no different than a child getting to be their favorite super hero or a princess for the day. I was the only one brave enough to sing and by the end of the day my co-workers were so sick of my rousing rendition of If I only Had a Heart they were ready to put me out on the side of the road. Quincy did a great job as Toto and was so tired by the time we got home, he slept for 2 days.
Another time, our Social worker had me pick up a Winnie the Pooh costume for her at the costume shop in Muskogee as she was to be Winnie for a nursing home birthday party. I picked it up on a Saturday to take to work with me on Monday. I couldn’t resist putting it on. I drove around town with it on, even went to Sonic. It was really fun to see the reaction at stop lights. I would just wave. I even went to my boyfriend’s house in it, rang the doorbell and when he opened with a stunned look on his face, propositioned him (lol). The look on his face was priceless.
And then of course there was the Muskogee Senior follies and my acting debut as Scarlett o Fever in Gone with the Breeze. The costume, curtain and all was the most fun part of that. Well that and I got to hug Rhatt Butler who I had a crush on at the time. I used a Southern belle voice and since Scarlett in this Skit was a little loopy from the war I got to laugh this really stupid laugh that after 6 weeks of rehearsals began to grate on my nerves, let alone those of the other performers.
Most days though I am happy to just be me. My escape when I need one is through my writing, not pretending to be someone else. I have been called too nice, too open, too genuine, too real. Can you be too much of those good things? I don’t think so. Because genuine means sincere, real, reliable, trustworthy and honest.
At one time in our life we have all probably been told “Just Be Yourself.” Maybe before a job interview, or when meeting someone for the first time. Good advice. Too much work trying to be someone you are not.
In the words of popeye…I yam who I yam. And that’s not so bad. And someday I hope to meet someone who can say these words to me and truly mean them…
I said I love you and that's forever
And it’s a promise from the heart
I couldn’t love you any better
I love you just the way you are (Billy Joel)
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