If you ask my kids about how I disciplined when they were little they will draw a blank more than likely. I was the “wait until your father gets home” queen! Oh, every now and then I’d get really aggravated and at least once a year I would blow my top. When that happened I would make signs that said MOM ON STRIKE and post them on all the doors along with a list of demands. My kids would hunker down and tiptoe around me for a day or so until it passed and I was back to my old self. When I look back it really wasn’t fair to make their dad the “bad guy”. Our marriage counselor asked one night about this. I said, well I do discipline them…Right, their dad replied sarcastically…she will say “go to your room for……………….3 minutes. And then let them come out after 1 for good behavior. I remember laughing hysterically when he did this imitation because it was SOOOOOOOOOOO accurate. I don’t know why it was so hard for me to discipline. Maybe because I was such a good kid that I never really got in trouble and thus didn’t know how to punish my own sons.
Seriously! My mom said I had one bad year and that was when I was 13 and a smart mouth. Even then I can’t remember her ever really disciplining me. I do remember my dad grounding me one time for something and then after about an hour came in and said “I know you didn’t mean to…whatever the offense was…..so you aren’t grounded anymore and here’s $10. Go have fun with your friends.” Classic example of parenting as you were parented. Actually my sons were very good as kids and even as adults and for that I thank God. I can count on one hand the times Mike spanked them. So we were blessed in that regard.
Going through my Mom’s Sunday School journals I came across a lesson she had done on Discipline. Here is part of what she said:
John 15
My memory goes back to when I was a kid. I can picture my dad reading while I played with a yardstick. I was holding and jumping over it and then I heard it break.
I hurried out of the room wanting to see where it was broken and if I could repair it. Then I heard my dad calling to me to come there and tell him what had happened. All kids say the same thing. “I don’t know” when they are in trouble and stalling for time. My dad said “you broke that yardstick didn’t you?” So I started to say no but before I could speak I saw the two pieces in his hands. They would not fit together again. I was disappointed in myself because I loved my dad and I never wanted to disappoint him. I didn’t have to say “I’m sorry” because it was written all over my face. Maybe I was sorry because I couldn’t cover up what I had done.
You know every now and then I find myself in that same situation with God, my father. Sometimes I get caught and that old feeling washes all over me again. You see God is like my father. God knows me and you because we are his children. Psalms 18:16 says “he reached down from on high and took hold of me and lead me out of deep waters” Again in verse 35 it says “you give me your shield of victory and your right hand sustains me, you stoop down to make me great.” This is a picture of God coming down. He stoops down, much like I did with my children and now with my grandchildren. We stoop down to their level because the child will know that we care and because it is less intimidating to be at their level. God stoops down to lift us up. God’s heart goes out to his children.There is a story about 2 boys who played hookey from school. When it was about time for school to be let out they went to get their books so that their parents wouldn’t know they had played hookey. The principle just sort of knew they would do this and so he was watching. “Stop, I’m so glad to see you” he said as they snuck back in. They waited for him to get the switch. One of the boys said “when he starts to switch us, we should move one step closer instead of backing off. The closer we are to him the less it will hurt. When we get real close it won’t hurt at all.” This is good advice to us. When the Lord starts to correct us, we should move in closer. God disciplines us because He loves us. Its that simple. Draw close to him and it won’t hurt near as much. “
I love that image she uses of God stooping down and picking us up. I have found that in my times of greatest sorrow or strife that God indeed picks me up and holds me close. But it saddens me to think that I only really turn to God when I am so hurt, so disappointed that I cannot do anything but that. I want to be close to God in the good times as well, not just when I’m in trouble. I know exactly what she means by saying that she loved her dad and never wanted to disappoint him because that is exactly how I felt growing up about her. There were all the usual pressures to go with the crowd. Once I was offered a cigarette and thought, what can it hurt, besides I’ll look cool and I wanted so much to be in the “in” crowd. But all it took was imagining the hurt on my mom’s face if she found out. So many times, the thought of disappointing my mother is the only thing that kept me from doing some things that I shouldn’t do. When you have the kind of unconditional love from someone that I had from her, you will do anything to keep it because it feels so good. God is our parent. He wants us to live right, he wants us to avoid the pitfalls of life that can trip us up and take us on a journey that will hurt and damage us spiritually. We may be able to hide our actions from our earthly parents, but God sees everything. So we should be motivated by our great love for God, to imagine what God would think of us whenever we are confronted with a decision. . He will always lead us in the direction of His Will. We can choose to go against that, we can go forward headstrong into whatever it is WE want. But we need to imagine the disappointment He must feel when we do.
God’s plan is to prosper us, to give us hope and a future. Being Spiritually grounded is not a punishment, it’s a gift.
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