I used to have my nails done at a local salon. The manicure guy there was a Vietnamese guy named Hi…or so I thought. I went to have my nails done one day. Hi was busy and so I said Hi, Hi and giggled because for some reason that always struck me as funny…and had a seat to wait. Pretty soon another Vietnamese man came from the back, walked up to me and said , You Hi? Meaning are you here for Hi.
I said “well the fumes are pretty bad but I’m not inhaling. And laughed though no one but me got the joke. Then I said, Yes but I don’t care who does my nails. Come with me, he said.
We sat at the table and he began to work on my nails. What is your name I asked, being friendly. My name is Hi he said. Oh, I said, I thought he was HI pointing to the man I thought was Hi. No, he HUNG, he said. TMI I said and laughed, though no one but me got the joke. So your hi and he’s hung? Yes he said. I’m Hi, he hung. You want pedicure today? Sure I said. Me do the pedicure. Ok I said. I have no preference in who does it.
Out walks a Vietnamese woman and says, Come with me. We go back to the pedicure station. Whats your name I ask, trying to be friendly, Me, she says. Yes, you I say. Me, she says again. Yes you I say again. My name is LeeAnn, what is your name I say slowly as if speaking slowly will make her understand what I’m asking. I’m me she says. Oh, I say. LIGHTBULB. Your name is me. Yes, she says I am me. Well I am me too, I say laughing though no one but me gets the joke. That funny we have same name she says. I see no point in confusing her so I let her call me Me for the next 15 minutes.
Fast forward 2 years Hung and Me have opened a new shop. I ask about Hi and am told he is working at the restaurant next door. I go in not for a manicure, but for a haircut and highlights. My hairdresser is a Vietnamese woman with the surprisingly normal name of Diane. After my hair I get my nails done by Hung and my feet done by Me who remember me and calls me ME the whole time and I happy camper.
2 months later, I return to the salon for a haircut. Diane begins to examine my hair. Who do your color she asks. They not do good job. You did, I say. Oh, she says…that explains it. U not a very good hairdresser. She not work here anymore. No, YOU did it I say. Right, she says. We get lots of complaints about U and so she not here anymore. No, You, Diana, You are the one who did color. Oh, she says……it look pretty good actually. And cuts my hair.
Found out a week or so later what happened to the mysterious U. She now owns a donut shop. The only one open on Monday in Muskogee so worth the drive across town. I pull up to the window. A Vietnamese woman comes to the window. How are you?she says. Fine I say. How are you? Oh U in the back making donuts. No I say, I mean how are you? She fine she says. She’s making donuts. Ok, I give up. I need an assortment of rolls. We no have assortment rolls she says. We have cinnamon rolls. Ok I say give me 4 of those. Do you have apple fritters? We out of flitters she says. Ok, I say. Can you tell me what kind you have. Sure she says and disappears. Next thing another Vietnamese woman comes to the window. Obviously U. She begins to recite the menu of donuts. Obviously her co-worker thought I asked for her to do this when I asked can YOU tell me what you have.
I am not making this story up. No creative license here. If you come to Muskogee and visit you can meet Me, Hi, Hung, You, and Diane. I forgot to ask the other donut lady her name. I may have to go back and do that. Curiousity is killing me!
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