Less is More

Yesterday  was payday.  Another day of receiving a check and trying to make it stretch enough to pay the bills and then counting the days to the next check.  This is such a depressing cycle and always I wish that I didn’t have as many obligations as I do.  I think I should have kept my old car until it completely quit running and then I wouldn’t have a car payment and I wouldn’t have a loan requiring me carry more insurance on that car than I actually want to.  Do I really need internet at home when I can get it free on my iphone.  This is a luxury that is worth it because I spend so much time at home on my computer writing my blogs and other writing and the Iphone screen is just too small.  Which makes me think do I really need an Iphone?  The credit card payment really make me kick myself because I don’t even have things that I am paying off.  Like meals out and clothes that no longer fit.  I really don’t need the big house I’m in anymore.  But did I really need it when I got divorced and bought it?  We could have made do with a much smaller, more affordable house that I would have paid off by now.  But I was trying to keep the boys in the lifestyle they were accustomed to and to if I were to be honest, that I was accustomed to.  It’s difficult once you’ve attained a certain status to go backwards.  It is a matter of pride.

My mom wrote a Sunday School lesson that addresses money and greed and pride.  I have to admit I had never heard the story of Naaman in all my Bible reading and Church going.  Here is the lesson she wrote :

Sometimes as we run around in this world, we get so busy that we don’t stop and smell the roses.  We get so caught up in our pride, in pursuing prestige, in making money that t ch and we changes us.  We forget where we came from and where we are going.  Some of my happiest memories are those early years when my children were babies and  we did not know how we would make it through the week.  A lot of times, Frenchy would leave on a Monday morning in an old beat up car with tires so slick it’s a wonder it made it out of town to travel all over the state as a salesman.  He would usually leave me $5 for the week to buy milk for the babies.  Later on we got lucky and a milkman came door to door and we always had milk because we could charge it and pay later.   Our entertainment was each other and though we had very little, we had a lot.  The years began to pass and the money started coming in and our values began to change and we began to acquire things.  We began to think money was the answer. But it wasn’t.  You can’t miss something you never had.  Once you get used a lifestyle its hard to go back to what you used to have.  It hurts your pride.

The bible story about Naaman is a story of greed.  He was a very important man, but he was a leper.  One day a little girl captured in battle told his wife of a prophet that could heal his leprosy.  The King  prepared a letter of introduction and collected $2000 in silver and $6000 in gold along with 10 suits of clothing to give to this prophet so that he would heal Naaman.  A lot of people today do the same day. They try to buy their way through things.  But the reality is, everything in life can’t be bought.  You can’t buy health, you can’t buy love and all the money in the world can’t bring your loved ones back from death. You can’t buy your way into heaven.  When Naaman arrived he expected to be greeted with great fanfare for he was important and he was bearing a lot of gifts for the prophet.  Instead, the prophet sent word through a messenger with instructions on what Naaman should do to be cured. Naaman felt insulted that the prophet didn’t grant him a personal audience and at first walked away.  His officers reasoned with him and he finally did do as Elisha said and was healed. He tried to pay Elisha with the many riches he had brought; but Elisha would not take any of it.  But greed overcame a servant of Elishas and he lied to Naaman, got the money and hid it for himself.  As a result he and his family were cursed with the leprosy .  Greed is a terrible thing.

Two things struck me about this story.  One was the point about trying to buy your way through things. I had never really thought about what motivated me to buy the house I’m in and take the trips I took and charge the things that I am still paying off.  I was trying to buy my way through something.  The divorce was a hugely painful thing for me and for the boys.  I was trying to buy my way through some of the pain by buying a house similar to what we were accustomed to instead of what I could truly afford.  When I took the boys on trips to Vegas and Breckenridge and Austin etc, I was trying to buy some new memories of family time with them…because the old memories were so painful.  A big part of that was trying to compete with their dad for their love as well because every time he took them on a trip, I would plan one in return.  As for the eating out instead of cooking and the birthday gifts that were a little beyond my budget it was again an attempt to keep things the way they were.  It was a matter of pride that motivated me.  Love for my sons sure, but mixed in there a little bit of pride and an I’ll show him attitude.  Hard to admit but its true.

The other is the greed with which Elisha’s servant acted.   What motivated him to manipulate a situation so that he would get the riches.  Did he have an “I work hard and I deserve this attitude” to the point that he was able to absolve the guilt of taking something that wasn’t his.  Was he so focused on getting ahead that he was willing to do whatever it took to increase his status.  I know a lot of people that have this attitude, this desire.   I know people who would sell their own mother to get a promotion or to make a little more money than the next guy.  Sadly, when they make the next level at work or get the raise they didn’t really work hard for they will not be satisfied.   Once they have more they will want more, never happy with what they have.  Like the woman on Oprah a few weeks ago that was addicted to plastic surgery. Once she fixed one body part cosmetically the rest didn’t look right.  So on and on she kept getting surgery until at some point nothing was the original.  Very sad really. 

My mindset now is to simplify my life.  My big house is up for sale and I want a much smaller one when it does.  I will pay off all my debts and be debt free when my house sells.  I will look forward to payday because there might be some extra money left over to set aside for retirement or to do something besides pay bills.  My ex-husband used to tell the boys that the best feeling in the world was when you could fit everything you owned in the backseat of a car.  That never made sense to me at the time but it does now.  I understand now what he meant.  When he made the remark we were in the compete with the Jones phase of our life. We had more cars than people who could drive them, more yard than we cared to mow, a tv in every room, every gaming system available, more food in the freezer than we could use in a year, enough knick knacks and gadgets to fill a large storage space. 

When it comes to material things, more isn’t necessarily better.  In fact, I have come to  believe that less is more.   More should be reserved for the things that really count.  More love, more faith, more kindness, more friends, more time.   What is most valuable is not WHAT we have in our lives, but WHO we have in our lives. More blogs to come!