When my mom was in the last days of her life, she gave me this advice. "LeeAnn, don’t worry about your looks or your possessions, or what other people think of you. You’ll never reach a point of satisfaction that way. I look back now on the last years of my life and I realize none of that matters. What does matter is that you be the best you can be. Do the best you can at whatever you do because that’s whats really important. Focus on others and you will find satisfaction."
She was right.
There was a period of time in my life when I had a flexible job and so I was able to volunteer a lot. My favorite thing to do was Meals on Wheels. It started as a personal challenge. I used to talk continually, never stopping to breathe or let anyone else get a word in. I thought this was part of my “charm”. Then one birthday I got the same present from 3 different people. It was a take on the I’ve fallen and I can’t get up commercials. It said I’m talking and I can’t shut up. Now, the first one was funny, the second less humorous and by the third one I was steaming mad at the gift givers. A few days later I mentioned to my husband that I was gonna go to the volunteer fair at the mall and find something to volunteer for. When I came home and announced that I was gonna deliver meals on wheels 2 times a week to 10 people he laughed and said, "well whoevers first is the lucky one cause by the time you shut up and make the 2nd house the food will be cold." HAHA! It was a wonderful experience and it did help me to rein in my tendency to be the center of my own world.
And some funny things happened along the way . My favorite was what I call the Naked Man story.
I had gone to deliver mow to a new house that I’d never had on my route before. I knocked several times with no answer and just as I turned to leave I heard a man say "Come in , its open." I opened the door and there sat an elderly gentleman, buck naked in his wheelchair grinning like all get out.
In the split second that followed I decide I would just pretend I didn’t notice he was naked. So I stepped around him careful to avert my eyes and sat his food on the table . As I turned to leave he said “did ya notice that I’m nekked?” "Well as a matter of fact I did. And I have to come back on Friday and if you aren’t dressed I am not gonna deliver your food." I said. Friday rolled around and I go to the house. Knock on the door, "Come in" he called. "Are you dressed ?"I shouted thru the door. "I’m not naked" he said. Ok, so theres a big difference in being dressed and being not naked. I go in and he’s covered all right. He has taken an oven mitt and placed it over his private parts. I decide to pretend not to notice again (are you getting the vibe that I’m pretty non-confrontational?) I left his food on the table and headed for the door. I haven’t looked at oven mitts the same way since then. Certainly not a hand I’d want to shake JI don’t even like those hamburger helper commercials with the oven mitt! I use potholders now.
Another lady on my route was this tiny little grandma looking lady about 5 2” that couldn’t have weighed more than about 80 pounds. She was so frail . I always would knock and say meals on wheels and she would come to the door eventually. It took her a while to get there. I always felt sad when I would leave her house because she looked like you could touch her and she’d break. Her name was Frannie and I nicknamed her Frail Frannie. Well one day I delivered to her house. She opened the door and took the meal with both hands. As she opened the door a wasp flew in and landed on top of her head. She didn’t seem to notice. She was concentrating on holding the food. In the split second that followed I decided I couldn’t leave frail frannie with a wasp on her head and her not knowing it. So I said, "Frannie, theres a wasp on your hair." Before I could offer to help her to shoo it she dropped the food tray, and started karate chopping the air, spinning around, she looked like Jackie chan. I stood there helplessly waiting to see if she or the wasp were gonna win the fight. I opened the door to help, the wasp flew out and Frannie toppled over backward like a domino. I helped her up and dusted her off and made sure there were no broken bones. I told her I’d make another trip to the pick up site and get her a meal replacement. "I showed him" she said as I left. She certainly had. I never worried about her after that. She was spry as an acrobat.
I met so many wonderful people and sharing in their lives was truly a bright spot in mine. In touching those lives, mine was also touched. I am not a clothes horse. I could wear the same thing every day and be happy. But one year while shopping with a friend I spotted the most beautiful coat I had ever seen . It was Hot Pink, I mean hot , hot pink but it was one of those I’ve got to have it moments. So I bought it. I paid full price and wore that coat like a queen. I loved that coat. My son Andy was about 7 at the time and once a month I would take him out of school at lunchtime and let him go run my MOW route with me. We had a new name on our list and the house was a shack in the middle of a run down neighborhood. The porch was so rotted out you had to step carefully so you didn’t fall into any of the holes. Andy loved to go to the door because the older people we normally delivered to always made such a big deal of him…well thank you young man….yadadadada. So we walk up to the door, carefully and this little old lady opens it . "Meals on Wheels" Andy called out. "Oh my, "she exclaimed. "That is the most beautiful coat I have ever seen. It is just wonderful. “ You can have it," Andy said. " My mom has other coats." " Really?", she said and looked at me. Just lit up with excitement I had never seen before. Well, I started to try and figure a way out of this….."Mom," Andy said…".in Sunday school we learned Luke 3:11 and it says if you have 2 coats you have to give one away. You have more than 2 mama. " "You’re right" I said and took off the coat, hoping she would protest and I could keep my coat. She didn’t . She was overcome with emotion. "Oh my, oh my, oh my "she said over and over. "Oh my, its wonderful. Is it really mine? " By the time we maneuvered ourselves off that porch and back to the car I had tears streaming down my face. Andy said," mom don’t cry, you can buy another coat. " He was right. But another coat, another experience, another moment like that I couldn’t buy. That day I saw what “its better to give than to receive “ meant in the full sense of the word. We continued to deliver to her for several more months way into the spring when a coat was not necessary. But I never delivered to her again after that that she wasn’t wearing my hot pink coat. And that summer when inevitably her name was crossed off my list of deliveries and I was told she had passed away, I knew that I had touched her life and she had touched mine in a way that would never fade.
And my point? Even if you don't have time to be a volunteer, there is always time to care about other people. And in doing, so you forget about yourself. Very satisfying indeed!
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