The Root of the Problem

After a week of dealing with a toothache and hoping that it would go away because I hate having dental work done and without dental insurance was worried about what it would cost, I finally reached the limit of my pain tolerance today and went to see my dentist.

I had pretty much decided that it was gonna be the worst case scenario and that I would have to have a root canal which would be time consuming and costly.  I got out of my car and walked in expecting to walk out with a huge bill to chip away at each month and another appointment to finish whatever they undoubtedly would have to start today.

Turns out that what was wrong with my tooth was that I had been clenching my teeth, probably due to stress, to the extent that I had worn this particular tooth down considerably AND caused it to be loose.  The dentist said to me “what’s stressing you out?”  I started to say nothing.  But then a whole lot of things popped into my head that could be the culprit from people to situations.  I started to open my mouth to complain about some of the stressors, but changed my mind.  Instead, as always, I reigned in the thoughts, choked back the tears and said, I’m fine.  Everything is fine. I can’t think of a thing.

On the surface, you would find me to be the most happy go lucky person you will ever meet. Rarely do you see me that I don’t have something funny to say or a smile on my face.  Evidently though, when I am sleeping the full brunt of the things that stress me out that I let roll off my back invade my brain, resulting in the clenching, and grinding of my teeth.

The root of the problem (pun intended) is that a lot of times, I don’t address it when something is wrong, when something is really bothering me.   Part of the problem is that even though my Yorkie Quincy is an excellent listener, he doesn’t offer much in the way of advice or feedback.  At work, my options are limited for venting since I am a Manager and can’t really vent to the staff.  And my time with my friends and family is so precious that I don’t like to spend it complaining about things.

My conversations with God are usually about the things I am thankful for.  I don’t often use God as the complaint department.  Though I guess He probably would be the ideal listener.  Because ultimately His advice is gonna trump all other suggestions.

Walking has been a tremendous stress reliever.  If for no other reason than it gives me a chance to think, to clear my head.  Rarely do I stop long enough to just sit and reflect.   When I’m walking there is nothing else to focus on (cause I can’t figure out how to download stuff to listen to to my Iphone and I can’t text while walking because I tend to trip.)  The thing about that though is that I feel so good when I’m walking because I am doing something for myself, and then by the time I’m done those endomorphine things have kicked in and I am just feeling relaxed and happy and don’t want to think about the “problems”.  So I put them off, evidently until the middle of the night!

My dentist told me to take ibuprofen, try to be conscious of the times during the day that I am clenching my teeth and as for the clenching my teeth as I sleep, to either pay $350 for a plastic device that fits in my mouth to keep me from clenching, or to invest in one of those athletic mouth guards.  Just lovely.  Now in addition to the hideous cpap machine mask, I will have another layer of ugly.  Something has got to give! 

I think that perhaps the solution lies in actually getting whats on my chest off my chest.  Maybe if I deal with the little annoyances as they come up, they won’t build into one giant teeth clenching stress situation.  Maybe a few close friends will allow me to vent occasionally.  Maybe God would be glad to assist me in working through some things if I would give up just a tiny bit of self sufficiency.

Would the world stop if I actually took someone up on the offer to “call if you need help with that?”   What if I said, I’d love to help but can’t fit that into my schedule right now.  Wow!  What a concept.   Or what if, just what if, when someone started to complain to me for the umpteenth time about  something at work that cannot be changed, I said, “ it is what it is.  Deal with it.”  

Change doesn’t happen overnight.  But I am going to give it a shot. From this day forward, if it bothers me I will say so.  If I need help with something I will ask.  That is definetly not my personality.  But it may save my teeth. Change is painful sometimes……..but then so is dental work.