The Cardinal

The Cardinal

My friend Linda posted on facebook yesterday about seeing a mother and father cardinal teaching its youngster to fly.  I told her it reminded me of a story I wrote once and prompted me to dig it out to share.

 Years ago we had moved to a new house in another city which meant a new school for Chris and Andy.  Andy adjusted fairly quickly, being a very extroverted boy anyway and he was also younger.  Chris on the other hand was pretty miserable and his natural shyness aggravated the situation.  Not to mention he was going into middle school, which is  a difficult time in most kid’s lives.

The most difficult thing for a parent to see is their child in any kind of pain, physical or emotional.  Everyday as I went to school to pick up the boys I would hope that Chris would get in the car and be excited about that day.  But everyday, he would get in the car with the same sad face.  He was really missing his old friends and his old school.  A new routine was just not something he adjusted to easily. I racked my brain trying to figure out a way to help him. 

 One day as we were getting ready to leave for Church, I heard a thump on our back glass door.  I looked out on the patio and there was a beautiful red male cardinal sitting on the ground, apparently stunned after having flown into the back glass and falling.  He was alive, his heart was beating very rapidly.  He beak was moving as if he was trying to call out for help, but no sound was emerging.  I felt so sad for the little bird.  I looked up into a nearby tree and saw a female cardinal, frantically calling to the bird.  I imagine if we could speak “bird” that she was shouting words of encouragement to him.  What she didn’t do was swoop down to rescue or console him.  She was hovering, not far away, encouraging him to get back up and fly.  Perhaps she was the partner of the bird.  But I like to think she was the mom.

After a few minutes, Chris and Andy went outside to see if they could help the bird.  When they got near, he suddenly jumped up and flew away.  As soon as he was airborn, the female was right by his side.  And in that moment, I felt as if God was showing me that Chris had to make his own way.  That he needed to suffer the pain of loneliness and let that spur him on to reach out and make a friend.  My role I realized was to encourage him from afar.  I could suffer with him. But I could not as much as I wanted to take away that pain.  He would find his way and when he did I could rejoice with him as he soared.

Come to think of it, that’s a pretty accurate description of God’s relationship with us, his children.  If he never let us have an obstacle, if he interfered every time the journey got hard…he would deny us the opportunity to learn from our struggles.  Instead he hovers, not far away, shouting words of encouragement and rejoicing when we find the strength to fly on our own.Chris made friends not too long after that without my intervention.  And he learned lessons that would last a lifetime.  He learned that life is not always easy and sometimes we have to be in situations that make us very uncomfortable and very unhappy.  He learned that sometimes mom and dad can’t bail you out.  He learned that he had the strength to work out his problem for himself.  He learned that with every obstacle you overcome you are stronger for the next challenge.  Oh, he can call out for help and encouragement and I will always be there for him.  But ultimately he must fly on his own.  And I must be willing to let him.

And here it is, some 13 years later.  I still have to resist the urge to want to swoop in and rescue my sons every time they face an obstacle, a disappointment. I find myself still even now wanting to protect them.   But I don’t.  Because they are able to fend for themselves.  To make decisions  right or wrong and learn from their mistakes.   They know that they have my unconditional love and that there is nothing I wouldn’t do for them if they needed me. 

 I think that is a part of parenthood that never goes away.  Here I am , 52 years old and I know that all I need to do is make a phone call and my dad would do anything, anything for me.  What a blessing and what a joy that is to be loved that much. 

Just like the words of the song,

 I'm everything I am
Because you loved me