Mothers Day is coming up and just like the last 6 years, I have mixed emotions about it. I love that my sons always call and send me a card for Mothers Day telling me how much I mean to them. That makes me happy. But at the same time, my heart aches a bit because my own mom, who was just incredibly special and my best friend is no longer here.
I remember sitting with her on her back porch many morning as we always did when I visited. Sipping coffee and watching the cows in the pasture behind the house. One of my favorite things to do with my mom. It was during those early morning chats, before the rest of the household woke up that she would talk about all kinds of things, her childhood, her mom and dad, her faith. She missed her mom terribly and it always seemed a little weird to me, though weird is probably not the right word, that her mom had been gone for so many years and yet she still missed her like she had just died. My granny died when I was 13 and so she had been gone 30 years or more when as an adult I would sit and listen to my mom talk about missing her.
Now I totally understand that. I am sure when I am 85 I will still be missing my mom. Some relationships are so precious and the bond so deep that I don’t think you ever really do get to a point that you don’t long to hear their voice, or feel their arms around you. No matter how long its been.
There are so many things I would like to talk to her about. So many thoughts I’d like to share with her. She would be so proud of her family and how we have managed to go on without her. I wish that she had been here to see Chris marry Juliet and see how happy he is. I wish she had met Juliet because she would have loved her. I wish she had been here to see Chris and Andy graduate from OSU. I wish she had been here to see me realize my dream of performing comedy. I wish she was here to meet her 2 great grandchildren (my niece Jenna’s children). I wish she had been here to see Anna baptized. The list goes on…so many moments that are just not the same without her here.
I can’t remember a time in my life that I was at odds with my mother. She used to say I had one bad year. I can’t remember ever being mad at her, ever having an argument with her, ever feeling anything but love for her. When people say “you are so much like your mother” it makes me happy. She was one of a kind. She made everyone feel as if they were the most important person in the world to her. She put people at ease. She never had an unkind word to say about anyone. She had a deep faith and and a love for God that didn’t need to be spoken. To know her, was to love her.
She was silly and fun and childlike and joyful. Even when she was battling for her life, she gave selflessly to others. She must have been terrified at times; she must have been overwhelmed with sorrow. Yet she took great care not to burden those around her. She always had a smile, always spoke of her hope and her faith. And when she died, the world lost a beautiful soul but heaven gained an Angel.
Betty Robbins LaFave will never be forgotten. Happy Mothers Day mama. I love you and miss you!
No comments:
Post a Comment