Plan to change plans

Life has a way of happening with or without our input.  And because we can’t control anything but ourselves, even the plans we make are usually changed.  So then, we can either go with the flow, roll with the punches or we can make ourselves miserable because things don’t go according to plan.   So many times in my life I have thought things would happen the way I had planned.  Rarely, if ever have things ever gone completely according to plans.

I planned to marry and stay married for the rest of my life.   Probably would still be married if it had been up to me.  I learned during the period of time in my life when everything turned upside down and the chaos that resulted nearly put me under  that I have a HUGE capacity for forgiveness.  I found strength and grace that I didn’t realize I was capable of.   But even with that, things did not turn around and go according to my plan.  And so I had to stop, take stock and move forward in a different manner than I had thought I would.

When I put my house on the market last year (or for that matter the year before that because this is the 2^nd round of listing it) I thought it might take a few months to sell.  Never did I think that almost a year later I would still be living here.  Not that I had planned any further from selling it and paying off everything and starting over.  That was my only plan.  Where was still up in the air.  Still is actually.

Never when I divorced 11 years ago did I think that 11 years later I would still be single.   But the right person simply hasn’t come along according to my plan.  I certainly didn’t see myself doing stand up comedy.  Or singing in the Church choir.  Or working for a hospice.   None of those things was in my plan.

The only plan then that I have is that I am certain that God has a plan for me and that somehow that plan will be fulfilled.  I may have a lot of unexpected twists and turns and road.  There may be several road block along the way. 

I really do put a lot of stock in that old saying “things happen for a reason”.  It is that phrase that I use to console myself when I can’t make sense of the door that just shut in my face.  Whenever, I suffer the disapoinment of a setback of some sort that phrase and the phrase about when one door closes, another opens come to mind.  Mostly I rely on my faith to carry me through the trials, standing firm on Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and bring you hope and a future. 

Sometimes I want to say, OK, God I believe that…but can you give me a time frame cause I’m struggling here.  Sometimes  I just want to shout Enough already…lets get to the good stuff. 

Many years ago when I taught the weight loss class at Church I gave everyone a Muskogee map and a highlighter and told them to highlight their route to class from their home.  Everyone’s route was different…but they all ended up in the same place.  My point was to illustrate that we would all get to our goal; but that everyone would have a different experience.

I guess life is a lot like that.  In reading my classmates biographies over the last few days  it has been interesting to note that though we all started in basically the same place…..graduation from Stillwater High School in 1976 and even though we share the commonality that we are all 52 or thereabouts, none of our paths to where we are today look the same.  I wonder how many of those graduates embarked on what they thought was their life plan and actually are still on the same path, no detours, no backtracking, just full speed ahead and life is turning out exactly as they planned. 

Oh, there are a few things we can control.  Our attitude for example.    We can control what job we take, though we don’t really have control of what job is offered.  I can control the amount of money I want to sell my house for, but I can’t control what it will sell for and I can’t make someone make an offer.  I can control the amount of exercise and the type of food I put into my body, and I can hope that my body responds in a good way but ultimately, I can’t control my blood sugar level readings.  So much more goes into that than the actual food and exercise.  Stress plays a big factor.

Which takes me back to where this started.  Until I can learn to accept things as they happen, realize that some things I cannot change or control and learn to let go and let things happen as they will, I will always be stressed out to some extent.  Things will never go completely according to plan.   

But that’s ok. I just have to adjust my mindset, adjust my attitude and learn not to sweat the small stuff.

That’s my plan.