Up way too late talking on the phone to a friend. Alarm went off way too early this morning. Sleeping in was a big pull but I had committed to being at our Hospice Booth at the Old Settlers Day event in Checotah and so I dragged myself up and got myself down to the big city of Checotah.
First up I went through the McDonalds drive thru for my morning oatmeal. The conversation went something like this….”would you like to try a big mac combo meal?” “No, I replied, its 8:15 a.m. Do you even offer them this early?” “Oh, said the voice…wrong script. Would you like to try our new maple brown sugar oatmeal? “ “ Yes, I said. I would…but I don’t want any fruit in it.” Dead silence. “Ok, the voice finally said, that’s an oatmeal with raisins. “ “ No, I said, I don’t want any fruit. “Right, the voice said, just raisins.” “No, I said, raisins are a fruit. I don’t want any fruit.” “ They are?” the voice said. “I didn’t know that, wow, I learned something new.” I should have let it go. But I said “what did you think they were?” “I don’t know, she said, maybe in the nut family”. I resisted the comment that came to mind. I was nice. “Well, I said, Raisins are made from grapes so that would make them a fruit.” “Oh, she said….so wine is a fruit?” My turn to ponder. “Hmmmm, I said. Never thought about it that way but yes I guess wine is a kinda a fruit, a fruit product anyway. “ “Cool, she said. Pull through.” I don’t think wine is a fruit though I’m still pondering that one. Guess the person who made my oatmeal was of the no fruit means raisins only frame of mind also. I got raisins. Which I picked out one by one and chunked out the window. I don’t like fruit in my oatmeal. Or raisins!
Next up was the drive to downtown Checotah which was about 2 blocks. I parked, walked through the car show to get to our booth. I impressed the guys with my knowledge of old cars. Guess dating Bill for 5 years was good for something. I know what a GTO looks like without having to see the letters on the grill. I can even recognize the year by the body shape. Next a walk through the classic tractors displayed. Kept my mouth shut walking through those. Never dated a farmer…I know nothing about tractors. I liked the shiny red one though.
The streets were filled with vendors on both sides, selling everything from confederate flags to chances to win a quilt to Carrie Underwood memorabilia to homemade peanut brittle. Every 5 seconds it seemed one of the “territory marshalls” would fire off their gun into the air, followed by wailing children and babies and curses from me. One lady was walking by me and on her cell phone when they shot off 3 shots in a row. She said, “oh I’m at the Checotah Settler day thing, they are shooting off guns” to whoever was on the other end of the conversation. “Tell them you are at the Muskogee mall “ I said. Well, I thought it was funny. Whatever!
We gave out about 100 ice pops and the 5 of us ate about 100 more and signed people up for our drawing for a picnic set and passed out a few hospice brochures. Mainly we people watched. My co-worker LaDonna paid $1.00 to have me arrested and thrown into the jail. Best part of that was the cute Marshall who escorted me to the jail. I bought an Old Settlers Day tie for a buck which was a get out of jail purchase. My co-workers might have left me in all day and I am claustrophobic. Fear of being locked in a cell has kept me out of trouble my whole life. The announcer kept saying be sure to get your commemorative Settler Day tie. This may be the last year for them. I’m sure it is gonna bring a fortune on ebay someday. Probably double my money.
Unfortunately, I got there to late to see the turtle races or the frog jumping contest but I heard the frog that won was pretty darn big. At one point, the announcer for the day announced that they had found a lost frog. I thought that was funny. And fortunately the microphone quit working on the singing contest for 12 and under. Ok, people…not every child can sing. Seriously!
After what seemed like hours in the hot sun, we decided to call it a day. Just in time for me to get to watch the tobacco spitting contest, the cowchip throw and the tail end of the Marshalls demonstrating gun safety (this from grown men who had been shooting into the air every 5 minutes the entire day…don’t do this at home kids.)
I signed up for a chance to win a carved bear (always wanted one of those) and a flat screen tv, grabbed a few free pens and headed to my car for the drive back home. Think I’ll take a nap. As soon as I solve the mystery of whether or not wine can be considered a fruit. I think if so, I will start doing that 3-4 fruits a day thing.
Time to settle in for some shut eye. L
No comments:
Post a Comment