Clutter free

I have been spring cleaning since early fall. Any spare time I have I have been cleaning out closets, going through drawers and cabinets and getting rid of stuff that I no longer want or need. Some things are easier to get rid of than others. And some things I couldn’t get rid of if I wanted to because of certain memories attached.

For example, I have a set of Pillsbury Doughboy salt and pepper shakers. Never at anytime have I had my kitchen decorated with that “theme”. But several years ago my mom somehow got the idea that my kitchen had Pillsbury doughboy accessories. So for Christmas, Birthdays, and just no occasion at all for about a year I would get gifts from her that were Doughboys. I had doughboy soap dishes, doughboy cookie jars, doughboy spoon rests. Now, I have nothing against the Pillsbury doughboy. But that is just not my “thing”…I didn’t have the heart to tell my precious mom that. So I just stuck these things in a cabinet and forgot about them. A few years ago, not long after my mom died I was cleaning out cabinets and came across the doughboy collection. I was in a relationship at the time and his daughter had just married and was setting up her home. I offered the doughboy collection to her and she was overjoyed. But, I kept the salt and pepper shakers so that I would be reminded every time I saw them on my stovetop of my mom. And I still am. Every time I pass the stove and see those doughboys I smile remembering my mom.

While going through tubs in the garage many of which contained papers and drawings from when the boys were little I had a really difficult time weeding some of the clutter. Another tub contained diaries from when I was a teenager. I kept those. Those records of first kisses and first heartaches are priceless. In the trash went dried up corsages from who knows when. Movie ticket stubs, concert ticket stubs and programs from various events all went into the trash…Unless I had noted something on the back. For example, the Cardinal/Astro game tickets from May of 1983…on the back “  proposed  to tonight” How can you get rid of something like that? You can’t. And I have every single “love” note any boy from 8th grade to present has ever written me. Yep, those I’m keeping.

I was reading an article the other day that was about de-cluttering. The article suggested taking a picture of things that have sentimental value to you but that no one else would probably hold on to if you weren’t around. Then write the story behind that photo. If you can part with the item after that then that’s one less piece of clutter. If you can’t that’s ok too. At the very least, you have written out the memory and have the story of to pass down to future generations. I love this idea and plan to use it. I’ve already written the story of my quilts my mom made for me. These I won’t part with. They are in my will, to be handed down from generation to generation.

I was talking about moving the other day and saying to Andy, well when my house sells and I move I’m going to take this and this and this……mainly in regard to furniture items. I have a painting on my wall in the living room. I am not particularly attached to it. It was given to me as a wedding gift in 1980 when I married my high school sweetheart (though sweetheart is not really an accurate word for him..lol)It was given to me by his mother for our new home. Everywhere I have lived, from 1980 on that painting has been on the wall in the living room. I said to Andy, I’m not going to take that painting. I don’t even like it. What he said surprised me. He said, I want it then because I can’t remember a time in my life from the time I was a little boy that it hasn’t been on the wall. He had attached sentimental value to something I had no attachment to. That painting brought back memories of his childhood. And so it will go to him when I move, or when he has his first real home. I was glad that we had that discussion because I would have put it in the goodwill pile when I moved. Probably should check with both boys before I get rid of anything to make sure I’m not getting rid of one of their memories.

Going through old photos has been a slow process. Some have the power to bring tears to my eyes. Some have the power to make me laugh out loud at the memory. Some have me wondering who the people are in the picture because I have no idea. Some make me wonder what ever happened to that person. Some have prompted me to find people on facebook and re-friend them and some are back in my life now, all because of my trip down memory lane. Some I hope to make new memories with.

So cleaning out the stuff is so much more than cleaning out the stuff. And sometimes we need to clean out the stuff in our lives that isn’t necessarily trinkets and gadgets. To find time to focus on losing weight and getting healthy, I had to find time to exercise. This meant I had to think about what stuff was preventing me from being motivated to do so. Mentally, it was thinking that it was such a long road I had ahead of me that I just kept putting off getting started. When I was debating several years ago whether or not wanted to go back to college and thinking how long it would take and taking into account that I was already in my 40’s I had this same kind of mental block. Both times I managed to shake off the mental block and say to myself Just do it. And I did. And am.

Making time for the important things, the important people in my life meant giving up some of the things that weren’t. Now when I watch tv its because there is something on that I want to watch. No more mindless flipping. If I have time to do that, I have time to exercise. Same with people. I realized that there is nothing wrong with being selective about who I spend my time with. And so I am.

There is an emotional component to downsizing that can’t be overlooked. From guilt at getting rid of a gift someone gave you that you never really liked, to the component of grief in giving away something that someone you loved deeply that is no longer in your life gave you because you know its time to move forward and let go of the past. Downsizing and de-cluttering can be liberating, or it can be gut wrenching. The tendency is for us to think we need a lot of stuff. The key is figuring out just what stuff we truly do need to live a life we enjoy.