Got a “flirt” message from a guy on one of the online sites I didn’t even think I’m on anymore. I have had that happen a few times and have decided that once you are on the site, you can remove your profile, cancel your membership, delete and delete and delete your information and they never really do actually delete you. That way they can say they have 100,000 members when in reality you meet and reject and are rejected by the same 100 men over and over again.
This guy looked ok. His picture was a little blurry but he was fully clothed, wasn’t flexing, smile showed that he had teeth, no cowboy hat (sorry personal preference) and his “name” on the sight wasn’t something like “whopper down there “ (seriously this was a real onsite name…and I actually already knew the guy ) or needensumluvin.
Then I got down to the narrative, where you write something about yourself. I’m sorry…and you can call me a spelling and grammar snob if you’d like. And I’m not without fault. I don’t always take the time to use the spell and grammar check. But seriously? Is it really that difficult to edit what you wrote and see if anything jumps out at you?
This guy, who by the way listed on education that he had a college degree (I know that’s no guarantee of spelling and grammar skills but he had to have had at least freshman composition) wrote and I quote exactly :
Ok, jist got my devorce... am real. Do want to help anyone... I am lysinced electrishun and I ain;t gonna charge at all on any older person or low income folks. Just kinda like another real Robin Hood. And yes, go to bars and do shoot alot of pool. Have 4 cues and did won alot of tourneys before. I am alot of fun I did wrote out this to hope it would be the end and finding a great hearted woman. . I am real and honestly devorced. And did cut off the goattee last week. Will grow it back or trim the hair... it's you choice. If your mine... please run the boat...lol
I realize that this may be one of the nicest, most wonderful men on the face of the earth. But I will never know because I can’t get past the narrative. If he had written something like below, I would have probably at least responded that I’m seeing someone right now but thanks for the message. Instead of hitting delete.
Recently divorced, genuine man. I am a licensed electrician and enjoy helping the eldery and less fortunate. I enjoy playing pool and have won several tournaments. I am looking for a woman with a good heart. And just so you know I really am divorced. I no longer have the goatee in the picture but if you like it I am willing discuss growing it back. If you are interested, send me a message.
I wonder if I could make a living tweaking profiles for dating websites. Of course, I am assuming that all women are as picky as I am about that kind of thing which may not be a good assumption. Perhaps, someone finds the original “narrative” charming and unpretentious.
So,here is what my profile says on one of the sites:
Under the heading of about me:
I am funny, smart, very dependable, loyal, self reliant, not high maintenance. I work as a Business Manager for a hospice and find it very fulfilling. In my spare time I am a stand up comedian and a writer. I have learned through my life experiences that love is a risk worth taking. That I am tenaciously loyal to the people I love. That forgiveness is a part of every relationship. That if you put God first everything falls into place.
And under the heading of what I’m looking for: Sense of humor is not optional. I love to laugh and make people laugh. Obviously, I want faithfulness, integrity, good character in a partner. I'm looking for a best friend to go through life with. Someone that lights up when they are around me and that makes my heart smile to be with them.
Ok cheesy it may be but it passed the spelling and grammar check and it’s definitely not cookie cutter. A little wordy? Maybe. Too informative? Possibly. Throw that in with the pictures I have of me performing comedy and of me working and me smiling as I hug a pug and you have a pretty good overall portrait of who I am. This is the profile that this man responded to.
In polling some of my single friends about their experiences on the online dating sites I have found in general that the question that most men ask the woman if they do actually end up corresponding and/or chatting online is “how old is your picture”. Most of my male friends say that the photo is almost always an old one and that on occasion they have gone to meet the woman and walked right past them because they were so much older, or heavier. Most of my female friends based on their experiences say that they feel like they need to see the divorce papers for themselves (because a lot of the men are still married and just looking).
My philosophy used to be if there was someone on one of the sites that I was interested in and vice-versa that corresponding, talking on the phone was the best thing to do to get to know the person and then arrange to meet. I have re-thunk (haha, know that isn’t a word but am working on being less of a snob) my approach. Now, if I’m interested I want to meet as soon as possible at a public place, with all safety precautions in place to see if there is even a point in pursuing a friendship. Because I have found that with few exceptions, what you see is usually not what you get. And am not just speaking about looks.
I consider myself an exception. My picture is recent, my profile is real, I really am single etc. And now I just realized that in asking someone to edit their profile and make it more appealing to me, I have asked that someone be someone they are not. So maybe that tweaking the profile thing is not a good idea.
Maybe that’s why I liked the Speed Dating thing so much in January and why I signed up to do it again in June. It’s a quick 6 minutes of what you see is what you get, ask anything you want and they have no time to rehearse the answer. And vice-versa. Six minutes of genuine. Followed by rejection or interest. Simple, quick, organized, safe. And a money back guarantee to meet someone. So you can keep attending until you have a match. Can’t beat that!
And by the way can someone please tell me what "please run the boat" means????
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