I don't got "game"

If one more person tells me I don’t have game (in the dating sense of the word)I am going to scream!

Google this people!!.  Women aren’t supposed to have “game”.   The term is used to refer to a man who has an easy time charming and seducing lots of women.   No where could I find it used in the reverse. Probably because women (with a few exceptions I suppose) aren’t into seducing lots of men…Most of us are content to have one man that cares about us and treats us right at a time.   As always, you can email me if you disagree and I’ll put your comments in a rebuttal blog. (Lynelle, LOL)

Game to me means to playing games.   I may be too “open”, too honest about my thoughts and feelings.  If I tell  man A about man B ,( or c or d, or e ) LOL then in my opinion I am being truthful.  Giving whoever  the option of saying, I’m not interested in competing.  I’d rather date someone who is giving me her full attention for now.  According to many of my “buddies”….I am not wise to be this honest. I am supposed to play this game called being “coy”.  I simply can’t do it.  If I like someone they are going to know whether I tell them or not. I wear my heart on my sleeve. Not necessarily a good thing and if I could change that I probably would.  Certainly, it puts me in a position of vulnerability and I usually end up getting taken advantage of. 

I was reading an article the other day about dating; specifically dating after 50. Not that time is running out and we are going to be dead tomorrow.  But just the  fact that at 50 your expectations are a whole lot different, most anyone you date is going to have a history and maybe even some “baggage” and most of the men surveyed said they would prefer the b.s. be skipped.  No acting like you don’t like someone so they’ll like you more; no stringing someone along until someone better comes along.  No saying I’ll call you when you know you aren’t going to.  No saying this and meaning that.  Better how the cow eats the cabbage.  (a nod to my friend  John who I bet knows what that means without having to look it up as I did when someone said it today). 

What that means is that you tell it like it is.  You lay it on the line.  The whole truth and nothing but the truth.  I like that approach.  I’d rather be told (as Charlie said) you are too outgoing for me and I’m afraid you’ll embarrass me.  Or you are too nice for me (eharmony match), or too religious for me(Minnesota Mark) , or too chubby for me.   I shed the tears for the hurt feelings if necessary and move on. NEXT!  No time wasted.  No disappointments down the line when the woman who is introverted , bitchy, faithless or  skinny comes along.  (who in their right mind would prefer that?) Ok, I digress.

I had this match on one of the sights, geezer.com or something like that LOL…Actually I think it was Seniorpeoplemeet because on that site you send “flirts”…So you get a Flirt message is someone likes you and then you can send a flirt back or email them or whatever.  So…..I get a flirt message from a guy that on the surface (because trust me you have to dig deeper with these sites to get the real scoop) seems ok. ) So I send back a return flirt.  And he (keep in mind HE is the one who sent the original flirt) sends back a response to my flirt that says “I don’t like chubby women.”   That’s certainly the cow eating the cabbage direct.  I didn’t respond.  My friend said I should have sent back “well I don’t like morons so we are not a match.”  I wish I had now.   That would have been a good example of the cow eating the cabbage.

My point is that if in fact I am single because I don’t have “game”then so be it. Eventually, there will be someone who will recognize and appreciate the honesty and genuineness that I bring to the table.  If that scares someone away, then they weren’t the right one for me. 

The other day I overheard a conversation in the hallway at work. This one person said, how come you don’t ever speak to me?  Did I do something to make you mad?  And the other person said, “no,I just don’t like you.”  Now that was a little harsh.  Maybe a little tact mixed in with the cabbage would have been nice.  I felt bad for the recipient of the honesty.  And I wondered if maybe the tell it like it is person might have been too honest.  

I guess there is a time when telling it like it is may not be the best thing to do in the situation.  Sometimes it is better just to bite the tongue and say nothing at all.   The old adage If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all is a good one.  Not dishonest. Not deceitful.  Just a kinder, gentler approach  than the cow eating the cabbage.

But when it comes to matters of the heart, I’m pretty much gonna be direct.  Here’s what I think/feel. Do with it what you will.

Love is a roll of the dice in the game of life. (I just made that up).  Sounds good though.  If you don’t get the roll you want, then you roll again.  And again.  It may take a while to get to the winners circle. Like that game Chutes and Ladders you may get ahead only to hit a slide and have to start over again but eventually you will get it and make it to the end.  That game I’ll play.   Honest!