I can vaguely remember, a long time ago being shy and introverted, shying away from any attention and being easily embarrassed. Those days are long gone as anyone that knows me can attest to. I am pretty outgoing, not at all shy, not easily embarrassed and definately extroverted.
So when a guy that I met online but have yet to actually meet because he keeps putting it off called me last night to say that he didn’t think he wanted to meet me because he was afraid I would put him in my comedy routine I was a little surprised. Imagine if he knew about my blog or my dating disasters book. LOL I thought he was kidding but he really wasn’t. I have never thought about my outgoing, comedic personality being intimidating but apparently it is. At least to him. I told him I appreciated his honesty, understood his concern though I assured him I would not put him in my comedy routine and wished him luck in finding someone a little less “outgoing” since that was not his match.
I wasn’t hurt by his lack of interest in meeting me. I didn’t really feel bad about the “rejection”. I did feel bad that I had made him feel that way though. It made me think about how my attitude, my personality affects other people. I remember someone saying once that strength can very easily become a weakness and a weakness very easily become strength. Something like that.
When we did the spiritual gift class at our Church a couple years ago, I scored high on hospitality and healing. Hospitality, the ability to put people at ease didn’t really surprise me. What I think puts people at ease is that I don’t take myself too seriously, I regularly point out my own flaws, I laugh at myself. I am very genuine. What you see is what you get. The healing part did surprise me until someone pointed out that healing doesn’t necessarily mean that you lay hands on someone and they are healed. My gift for making people laugh is an example of healing. If I can make a sad person smile then that’s a good thing.
A couple hours later, he called back. He said that he had changed his mind. That he didn’t want to pass up meeting me because he was afraid of being ridiculed. When I told him that once upon a time I had been shy and introverted he didn’t believe me at first. Then he asked how I had managed to overcome that. I told him that I just think I pushed through. I did things that made me uncomfortable. I put myself in positions where I would have to come out of my shell.
Not that there is anything wrong with being quiet and introverted. He didn’t like that about himself though. I suggested that he do the speed dating thing at the end of the month with my friend Kimberly and me. He was horrified at first. The thought of meeting 10 women for 6 minutes each did not sound fun. I convinced him it would be good practice for him. And that 6 minutes was not that long of a time to talk to someone. He agreed to do it. And we made a pact to mark each other’s card with “would like to see again.” That way, if everyone else rejects us, we will still get one match.
He also asked if I had days when I just didn’t feel like being upbeat and funny. Of course I do. I have a friend on facebook that has to regularly chat me through some self doubt and melancholy. It’s just that I simply prefer to look at every situation as an opportunity and try to find the positive or the funny in anything. Most of the time thats not that hard for me. But when it is, I have close friends who help me push through.
Now that I know that I can be intimidating and somewhat annoying I will try harder to read people a little better and tone it down when necessary. Oh, I’m not going to change. But I can be a little more aware of how my words and actions are perceived.
And I think maybe it’s time to come up with some sort of waiver for the men I date…well actually anyone that is in my life.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and may be used in LeeAnn’s comedy routine, blog or book. Do you understand these rights? Are you still willing to be around me?
Kind of the Miranda rights…the LeeAnda rights. LOL
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