I had someone ask me yesterday if I’d had a good date in a while and I said no. But then I thought about it and even though some of the “dates” didn’t work out in the long run, they were pretty good at the time. And so it really got me thinking about that because I do tend to focus on the bad when it comes to the dating realm.
Actually, when I meet Mr. Right and the dating chapter has its final chapter, everyone will see that even though none of the “chapters” worked out, there are good and bad parts to every one of them. And some, like Matt’s for example are all good. Just didn’t work out long term. Obviously there were some pretty wonderful times with Bill or I wouldn’t have been in a relationship with him for 5 years.
And not every guy, every date has a chapter for some reason or another. They might have a paragraph just to keep the timeline straight in my mind but no Chapter. Maybe the “date” was totally uneventful. A case of great meal, good talk but no connection. Or maybe, as in the case of Twinguy the date wasn’t all that wonderful and we probably won’t ever go out again…..but over the course of the months we talked we became friends and out of respect for him and that friendship, I don’t really want to blog about the date. Or the old boyfriend from a long, long, long time ago that I met for lunch. Had a great time and then found out he was in a serious relationship. Whats to tell? We are still friends and nothing really changed in that regard.
The really good dates fall into the “I don’t kiss and tell” category. Even to an out there, here’s the scoop person like me there are some things that I don’t want to talk about because I want to keep them to myself. Some compliments I want to keep in my heart and mind…to bring out when I’m feeling down. And the great kisses? Well, my kids and dad do read the blog…and I doubt they want to hear about those.
Its like going to the races. The cars go around and around and around…personally I don’t see the appeal of watching that but I know there are millions of Nascar fans out there that would disagree. But throw in a good wreck (where no one gets seriously hurt) or a couple of drivers getting into a shouting match and it suddenly becomes more interesting. Same with Hockey. The game I went to , several years ago was pretty boring…until the fights started. Then it became more interesting to watch. I don’t think its just me. Look at how even a fender bender will slow traffic for miles as people slow down not necessarily for safety but to see what happened. Or turn on the news. The media will take a story of loss, or strife or tragedy and focus on it for days and weeks even.
I was thinking about the good dates I have had in the last 10 years and the ones that stand out the most were all day dates. Where I basically hung out with someone for the entire day. Maybe I need the opposite of speed dating. I need slow dating. Over the course of the day with someone you really do get to know a lot more about them. Not just through conversation either. If you spend a day with someone you will likely get a better picture of the overall personality. It’s hard to be on your best behavior (especially if you are trying to impress) for a long period of time. One time I was prompted to say to the guy….someone needs a nap. LOL Then again, Chapter 2 was an all day thing and it ranks as the worst date ever. Why I didn’t cut it short still puzzles my friends to this day when they hear the entire story. And the answer is, I couldn’t think of a way to leave without seeming rude. Too nice. Ok, that was a situation where I was TOO NICE!
I had a guy tell me that comedy only works if you are either so outlandish and rude and say things that people wish they could say but don’t….in other words shock value…or if you make fun of yourself and your shortcomings. I fall into the second category. My humor is very self deprecating. That’s what makes it funny. If I had good dates, didn’t struggle with my weight, or getting older, or had a perfect life then I’d have nothing to joke about. When I am at my goal weight and married to the man of my dreams I will have to find other aspects of my life to joke about and center my comedy around. I’m sure there will always be something. Getting older provides tons of material. Someday Grandkids will probably be a good source.
My writing and my comedy work because they are centered around a flawed human being trying to do better. Pretty much describes most of us. The hurts and disappointments are easier for me to process if I can put funny spin on them. That’s probably the reason that the things I write about are the dates, situations that were of the negative nature. That is my way of processing them and moving on to the next situation. Anaylze, find the humor, learn from the mistake or experience and move on to the next situation. The good dates, the good situations, the joys have a place in my heart and mind. They just don’t make it to paper that often.
What makes a more interesting story? The speed date guy who talked about flavors of popcorn for 6 minutes or the speed date guy who talked about his hobbies and his grandkids. Hands down popcorn man. Though if you really really really want me to tell you about the other guy I will. And the good dates. Few and far between. If I only wrote about those there wouldn’t be a blog!
So that is the answer. I have processed through why I do what I do and turned it into a blog. Talent huh? LOL
Write on!
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