Re-booted

My computer has some sort of glitch in it and so it locks up and to get it to work I have to re-start it aka re-boot.  Once I do that, it seems to work fine for a few days even then it’ll lock up again.  Could be because I never seem to remember to close out of stuff and so at any given time I may have 10 things open. 

Today when I checked in at Church via Facebook, on what are you doing I put re-booting my spiritual self.  I really needed to do that today. Not that its been a rough week or anything.  But the heat has made me a lot less patient, a lot less tolerant and I have been a little cranky.  Not usual for me.  Also, I have been lazier than usual because when it’s this hot its an effort to do anything.   I knew I was getting low on spiritual fuel when I had to stop myself from flipping off the car that cut in front of me at McDonalds this morning when I went to get my oatmeal. Before Church.   Very unusual for me. Do not get between me and my oatmeal!

The drama of last week over the article in the paper being published, combined with an air conditioner that is not keeping the house as cool as I am used to, to sorting through some emotions that I needed to address in regard to a few people…..has left me drained. 

We are all subject to temptations in our life and this week has been a pretty hard struggle for me in a couple of areas.  Sometimes doing the right thing in a situation is the hardest thing to do.  It would be easier sometimes to lower the standard or moral code we have set for ourselves just a little bit…….sometimes knowing if we mess up we will be forgiven turns out to be justification.   In the end, I did the right thing though it wasn’t entirely up to me to do so.  But I think I would have regardless.  Still, knowing how vulnerable I can be at times has made me realize even more how much I need to stay grounded in my faith.

Prayer is a daily thing for me.  If you felt prayed for you probably were because anytime someone crosses my mind I take a few seconds and pray for them.  Sometimes, I have pretty lengthy conversations with God, who by the way thinks I’m hilarious.  LOL   Sometimes though I get too busy,  or too lazy to even stop for a few minutes to pray.  That’s when I usually have the worst days.

 I stayed up late last night chatting on line and this morning I really didn’t want to get up when the alarm went off.  I could have skipped Church.  Not like anyone would know that I was home in bed being lazy.  They’d just think I was out of town.  But I got up because I knew I needed to re-charge.  I knew that no matter how much I wanted to sleep in that my week would go better if I “re-booted” myself to get ready for the week ahead.

And its not just a spiritual re-start we need sometimes.  I have been exercising everyday.  Yesterday I took a break. Not a big thing really.  Probably a good thing.   But I knew if I missed today too, which was super tempting that I would either beat myself up with guilt…or find a reason not to go tomorrow either.  I needed to re-boot physically too. I’m glad I did.  I walk in the gym sometimes with an overwhelming dread thinking of the million things I could do that would take less effort.  But I always leave feeling good and fulfilled.

And sometimes the emotional self needs to be rebooted.  The “not so great date” of a couple of weeks ago left me feeling pretty down.  To have someone say “I’m not attracted to you” should not be a big deal.  But it was.   It hurt my feelings.  Which is stupid because there are lots of men I am simply not attracted to.  All the bad tapes start playing in your head when someone says that to you.....its a lot easier to think “well something is wrong with me” than to think “well something must be wrong with him cause I am Awesome”.   Which is what I’ve been chanting all day.  LOL   

Today I have re-booted, re-charged and am  ready for the week ahead.  Gonna log off now and take a much needed nap!