Yesterday, I was on my way to work and singing along with the radio and just in a peaceful, happy mood (which at 7:30 a.m. is not the norm for me—happy anyway) and out of the corner of my eye I see this giant hawk looking birds swoop down and grab an animal of some kind and fly back up and off.
Now, granted one less mouse or rat or vermin in the world is not upsetting to me. As long as it wasn’t a small dog or even a cat, or maybe a bunny I’m good. Though what came to mind was this critter, walking along minding its own business, probably searching for its own meal when all of the sudden it is captured and dead.
Sometimes the bad stuff has a way of sneaking up on you like that. The Bible talks about being ever vigil because of the roaring lion that is roaming around waiting for someone to devour. When I taught a weight loss class years ago that was a “Christ Centered” weight loss program that was one of the verses we memorized. In a very real sense we were battling that roaring lion on a daily basis as we tried to make the choices about what we ate that we needed to make.
Life is like that. So many temptations. So many opportunities to do the wrong thing because it feels good at the moment. So many ways to get caught up in the competition. I asked my friend the other day why sometimes doing the right thing doesn’t feel very good. It seems like it should. He said that it usually doesn’t in the beginning because you have given up something you really thought you wanted. But that eventually it pays off.
Most of the time I am pretty aware that I have diabetes. It is a continual battle with myself to make the right choice to put the right food in my mouth. Some days I just want to forget it. Some days I don’t want to take the medications, or prick my finger for the blood sugar reading, or plan ahead (this one is my worst thing as I HATE TO PLAN) what I am going to eat that day so that I don’t get too many carbs and run my sugar up. Since I am not on insulin, when I make the wrong choice and my sugar goes up there is not a lot I can do except feel bad until it goes down on its own. I end up paying for my lack of discipline.
The other thought that came to mind is how quickly things change. One minute you are minding your own business and the next you are a meal. When the boys were young Mike and I tried to impress on them that there are consequences to any action, good or bad. Some actions can have consequences that you can’t really recover from…like high school kid that drove drunk and ended up killing all his passengers. He may have survived but I bet he wishes he hadn’t when the guilt and remorse take hold of him. Or the kid that was playing with a gun and killed his sister accidentally a few weeks ago.
But sometimes even when you do the right thing, you get the wrong outcome. I always think of my friend Julie when this crosses my mind. Julie was a fitness nut. She did everything the textbooks say to do in regard to health. No processed food, no alcohol, no sweets etc. Her weight was perfect on the height and weight charts that we all think are outdated and impossible standards. She exercised daily. I remember when I went to visit her after the birth of her 3rd child in the hospital and she was on the floor of her hospital room doing setups just hours after giving birth. Her health was of utmost priority to her. She had regular checkups, regular mammograms. So when she got breast cancer everyone was surprised. There was no history in her family and she was the poster girl for good healthy habits. No one was surprised at how quickly she bounced back from the chemo and radiation. Only to die a year or so later while standing in her kitchen of a brain aneurysm.
Or the woman that never smoked a day in her life that ended up with lung cancer. Or the baby born with a birth defect even though the mother did all the right things during the pregnancy.
There are things for which we have no control. Like the rat this morning. And so the lesson I take from this is “do what you want cause it doesn’t matter anyway”. Just kidding. The lesson is that life is not a guarantee and so if you are waiting around for something specific to happen before you jump in and live it, you may wait too long.
I am always inspired by stories of people who go back to school when they are older to earn a degree they have always desired. Or people like my classmate Edee who went from being in her words a “couch potato” to running marathons. The elderly lady in my Zumba class. (besides me,lol). The only person holding you back from living your life as you want to live it, is you. Sure there are practical considerations. I’d like to live in Colorado in a log home overlooking the river and write for a living during the week and then fly around the country doing comedy performances on the weekends. Probably not gonna happen unless I win the lottery. So I’ve scaled back a bit. I found a job that pays my bills that I love, and I write and do comedy every chance I get. Beats being stuck at a job I hated, not writing because I got a rejection letter for a story I sent to a magazine several years ago and not doing comedy for fear someone might heckle or boo me. Progress. (my favorite word)
I may have a way to go to get back to the weight I want to be but before too long I will be there. And instead of thinking “its gonna take me a longgggg time to lose 53 pounds” I’ll be thinking I am so glad I started working on the weight loss because I feel like a million bucks.
Every effort toward living the life you want is at least that. A small step in the right direction. So to all of you who are thinking “well I’ll go to my class reunion this fall IF I can get all this weight I’ve gained off, or “as soon as my house gets remodeled and I have new carpet I’ll have friends over” or “I’ll get out of this abusive relationship as soon as I find someone else that will love and take care of me” or “I’ve hated this job for 20 years now but its too late to start over”…..or “if only I had more money,better self esteem, a bigger house, a nicer car, an empty nest, a better job….STOP! You have one life. Live for today. You have to start somewhere. Be grateful for the day you have and live it like there is no tomorrow.
One of my old Tahlequah office co-workers came by our Checotah office today. Now she is a prime example of living life to the fullest. She rides a Harley and is always off on some new adventure. Her last one was ziplining in Arkansas. This is a recent addition to my “bucket list”. I am a little afraid of heights (ok a lot afraid) so I think that this would be a good fear conquering experience. Also, its in the middle of nowhere so you have to camp (also on my bucket list-something I’ve never done). She said I might want to start with a cabin and work my way down to a tent. LOL She said that you can buy a shower at the general store down the road from the campsites. That was a foreign concept to me. Coin operated. Never seen one. Might be worth the trip to see that. J But you get my point. So as soon as I get a chance, I’m going to get on line and see where and how and how much and then find someone to go with me on this adventure. Its gonna happen.
Live, Laugh, Love, LeeAnn
I say Benecia should be the one to join you. Sharon
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