With friends like you..

It happens.  Not that often but it does.  I wake up with the weight of the world on my shoulders. If it weren’t for some very important people in my life that love and support me through all my ups and downs I don’t know how I would make it sometimes.  Just knowing that I can call on them and they would do whatever I needed them to do for me is huge. Even though I usually don’t.

When I was at Church a few months ago in Austin with Chris and Juliet they sang this song that I always think about when I have one of these days.  Don’t remember any of the words except these 12

“when you don’t know what else to pray, say the name……Jesus

The song is about just becoming so overwhelmed with all the problems and pressures of everyday life that you can’t even pray….because even that is overwhelming.

Sometimes, there is not even a specific event or anything big….just a series of little things that all add up and turn into one big stress ball.  My need to do list is overwhelming at times.  So many things I need to do but don’t have the time, the skills or the motivation to do.  ( Although I finally did get the bushes done and the weeds out of the flower bed!  ) Sometimes,even my want to do list stresses me out.  Because there are things on the need to do list that I must accomplish before I can even start on the want to do list. 

I have reached a point in my life where I can say no and not feel guilty.  That’s major.   I used to be involved in so many things that really weren’t my cup of tea simply because someone wanted me to and I didn’t want to hurt any feelings by saying no.  I am past that point.  Thankfully.   I have learned that it is not selfish to take care of my self first.  And in doing so I am better able to take on the things I want to do without being overwhelmed. 

What I haven’t mastered yet is the art of asking for help when I need it and not feeling like a failure because I asked for help whether it be financially, or emotionally, or spiritually.  When the kids were in town a couple of weeks ago, the 4 of us went out to eat.  The bill was not huge because it was lunch and we didn’t go overboard.  Even letting my sons pick up the tab was a big deal for me.  Then one of the boys said, it actually feels good to be able to treat you once in a while mom.  I had never really thought about it like that.  And it felt good to let them.

This guy at work offered me his leftover ceramic tile.  He has no use for it and it’s enough to tile my kitchen.  Another co-worker’s boyfriend is willing to lay the tile for me REALLY CHEAP.  Just materials basically.  This offer was made about 3 months ago.  But it took me until today to say Jack, if you still have the tile I’ll take it.  Because I kept asking how much he wanted for it and he kept saying you can have it and I kept thinking I can’t just take it without paying for it. Then I realized, that just like letting the boys pay for lunch, maybe Jack wants to give me the tile because he likes me and expects nothing in return.  WOW!  What a concept.  NSA.

NSA stands for No Strings Attached for those of you who are wondering.  Saw it on one of the online dating site profiles the other day. Guy wanted FWB, NSA…Friend  with benefit, no strings attached.  Good luck with that buddy!

I have a NSA mentality when it comes to helping other people. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for a friend or my family if its within my ability to do so.  I don’t expect anything in return.  And so its time to realize that this is not a mentality that is exclusive to me.  Everyone that offers something doesn’t necessarily have an ulterior motive.   I don’t know where along the way I became so cynical in my thinking.   Time to change that though.  Let the love in, just as I let it flow out. 

Time to say thanks to the people in my life that have offered me things from their heart.   From my classmates who offered their  home when my a/c was out , to the classmate who told me I could stay with them after the class reunion so I don’t have to drive or spend money for a motel,  to the classmate who paid for all of our meals at the last meeting even though he couldn’t attend.   To the neighbor who mowed my yard while I was gone one weekend, to the friend that came and hauled away a giant branch that had fallen in my front yard a few months ago, to the people who took the time to clip the article in the paper and mail it to me just in case I didn’t have enough copies…….to my dad who helps me whenever I need it and sometimes when I don’t…..to Jack who is giving me tile.  Thanks.  With friends like you I am blessed. 

And knowing that I have friends like you has just caused that weight of the world on my shoulders to ease up a bit.  Down to a continent anyway.  LOL   Bet by tomorrow I’ll be good as new.  Optimistic, positive minded, focused on the things in my life that are absolutely great. 

L