Wisening Up.

Wisdom and discernment are now high on my list of things to pray for.   This dating stuff has opened my eyes to the fact that I am seriously too trusting, too kind hearted for my own good.  Today I had a message on one of the sites from a really decent looking (looks can be deceiving) guy who’s profile was good…no red flags.  Asking for my email. I gave him my “generic” email which doesn’t have my name or any personal information in it or on it.  Next thing I know I get pictures of the guy naked and a close up of his private parts.  LOVELY!  I immediately blocked him, contacted the online dating site, and tried to figure out what it is about me that attracts such weirdos.  Though I’m sure that other women have the same problem.

I am surprised I have made it through the last 10 years as a single woman without getting taken a few times on repairs, etc. because I think that I must have a SUCKER sign above my head.  I have learned a few lessons the hard way…like paying a guy in cash to cut my trees down and then coming home to cut down trees but he “forgot” to haul them off. Which required I pay another person to haul them off.  I have avoided unnecessary changes of filter and such because I dated a car guy for 5 years and he told me to say “sure change it out if it needs it but I want to watch and I will want the old one back”  Which usuall y leads to a “well it probably has another few hundred miles in it.”  Once I went into an oil change place with a brand new air and oil filter that Bill had installed and got the same line about them being dirty and needing replacement.  When I said I had just done that the day before, the guy said “oh I’m sorry I have you mixed up with the other car I’m working on .  Since I was the only one there that was a little hard to believe but I just paid for the oil change and left. 

Once a tire shop told me that the flat I brought in couldn’t be fixed and that I needed a new tire at a cost of $122.  The tire was priced and the tech was just about to put it on. So sure were they that I would believe them and say Ok well go ahead.  Instead I said, no I think I’ll just keep the spare on for a couple weeks.   And left. Went to a different place and paid $5 for a repair.  Nail.  And not one that had ruined anything.

I know it sounds like I am picking on service people but I don’t mean too. Its just that  it is in this “realm” that I feel at a disadvantage being a woman. 

Dating has been kinda like that. I am sure there are super good men out there.  Where I don’t know but I am sure of it.  Its an incredible amount of work though to go through and find the ones that have potential, that the major red flags aren’t there , then  talk to and get acquainted only to meet and have it be totally different than what you thought they would be. I guess because I am honest in my profile I think everyone else is too.  And that is my first mistake.

A couple of guys that are still “in the hopper” , that I haven’t met yet but seem ok I am going to meet at some point. But as of today, and naked man, I have decided that it is simply not worth it. I have a great life.  Great friends, great kids, a great job, great Church. I have a multitude of interests, writing, comedy performances, choir, handbell choir and my new passion exercise.   And it is those things that I am going to concentrate on again.  Recently, with the exception of one man I met on line (John) who has become a great friend to me, and one I met Speed dating (Grady) who has been a great source of comedic relief and man advise, the money I have spent on these sites has been a waste.  I shouldn’t have to pay to be lied too, stood up, deserted, and “flashed”. 

And for those of you who think that I have developed a pretty sour attitude about the whole dating thing, well I can’t argue that.  For those of you who have found true love on a dating site my hat is off to you because you have managed to find a treasure amidst the junk.  To those of you who are married and think being single sounds fun…think again. 

Cherish the people who love you.  Build a life that is “fool” proof.   My friend Cindy said that if God wanted a man in her life he would need to just drop one in her lap.  I think that’s a pretty good attitude.  And until that happens I am going to rely on my friends with wisdom and discernment until mine gets fixed.  When it comes to men, I know those things need repair.  And I don’t plan on being fooled.  Again. 

L

After I posted this blog I found this on my friend Kim's facebook page.  And it fit so perfectly with what I am prayng for that I had to share it.

 A woman would be much better off if she could distinguish the difference between a man that flatters her & a man that compliments her...a man that spends money on her & a man that invests in her...a man that views her as property & a man that views her properly...a man that lusts after her & a man that loves her...a man that believes he is Gods gift to women & a man that REMEMBERS a woman was God's gift to man........