My Cup overflows

I woke up this morning thinking about my mom and wishing that I could pick up the phone and call her and tell her to have a “juan”derful day , just like she said the word wonderful.  She would have been 78 years old today.  She died at age 69, a month shy of her 70^th birthday.  Much too young.  I remember when I was in my 20’s even age 50 seemed ancient.  Now in my 50’s, I realize that I have a lot of years left to live and enjoy my life.  My mom was the most vibrant, embrace life person I have ever known .  What an honor and a blessing it is to me when people that knew her tell me I am “just like your mother”.    

One of my co-workers is facing the loss of her parent if he doesn’t begin to recover soon from a litany of medical problems that have him currently on a ventilater and medical induces coma.  Another co-worker lost her dad a little over a year ago and she is in the beginning stages of healing.  When she says “daddy” her voice cracks ever so slightly.  I want to tell them that someday, 8 years down the road as its been for me all that the joy from knowing that those loved ones are in Heaven, the memories of the wonderful times that they had with that person, and the legacy they left behind will far outweigh the sadness. 

They will be able to look at that person’s life and instead of dwelling on the cancer, the diabetes, and the other bad things that took that person’s life , dwell on what that person meant to them and the people whose lives they touched.  They will reflect with a small amount of sadness which will never go away, but with a whole lot of gladness that God allowed that precious person to be with them for the years they were.

This week I sent an email to my former sister in laws, telling them that even though my name is about to change and I will no longer be a indentified as “Byers” , how much their family has meant to me for the  29 years I have been LeeAnn Byers.  Their dad, Bill Byers was one of my personal heroes, one of the best men I have ever known.  One of them wrote back about the changes that happen in our life, good and bad for which we have no control over.   What remains when divorce, death, and distance separate us from people we have come to love, is the love.  We may not see them often, or in the case of death at all but no one can take the precious memories and the warm fuzzy feeling in our heart knowing we loved and were loved away.

Joe remarked today that I looked a little sad and so I told him it would have been my mom’s 78^th birthday today if she had lived.  And for a few moments we talked about that.  Since Joe grew up in the Tulsa Children’s Home, I ‘m not sure he will ever fully understand the depth of the relationship I have with my mom and dad. Or my sons for that matter.  But that’s ok. What matters is that he is willing to listen to me reminisce about my life before him and that he takes those reflections and sees the connection between the person I am today.

When I talk about my mom’s zest for life, I want him to think…so that’s where that comes from.

When I talk about my dad’s generosity, he will think, well no wonder she is so unselfish in nature

When I talk about my son Andy, he will think, wow Andy has gotten that part of his personality from her.

When I talk about my son Chris, he will think, wow Chris must take after his dad…LOL..because Chris is pretty detailed and serious, something I’m not.  However, if you look closely, you will see that Chris has a lot of me in him…his writing talent, his loyalty to family, his love of music. 

What I mean to say is that our lives are shaped by the people around us.  Which makes it even more important to choose wisely the people you allow into your heart.  That saying about you can’t choose your relatives is true I guess.  Thank God, the relatives I have are all blessings in my life.  I know that not everyone can say that.  You can control the company you keep and so I try my best to surround myself with people who uplift me, who care deeply for me and who I can count on to be loyal and committed to me whether it be in a friendship or a marriage.

Just like my mom.  I seek out the positive things in life, don’t dwell on the negative and as a result I have achieved a balance that makes me pretty amazingly happy with my life.

My mom used to sing this song at the opening of every Gospel Barn show.  It was called “I’m drinking from my saucer cause my cup has overflowed.”  In the performance she always talked during this one musical interlude.  I can close my eyes and hear her voice now saying “People always say, that Betty LaFave, she has everthing,  money enough not to worry about anything, a family that loves her, a lot of friends that she can count on…and it’s true…I’m blessed.  But not because of those things, but because I have the assurance of Heaven.”    Even when she was dying of cancer, she got up on that stage and sang about her cup overflowing.  She didn’t dwell on the fact that this horrible disease was slowly draining her life away.  She felt her cup was overflowing even when she  was so sick she couldn’t lift her head off the pillow..She never succumbed to the bitterness and why me attitude.  She made sure that all of us knew she loved us, she made sure that all of us would be ok, she wrote all of us a letter telling us how she felt about us and she made sure that every one of us promised to lean on each other  and  stayclose as a family even when she was not in our midst.

In Heaven today there is a probably a big birthday party going on.  My mom would have organized it and be right in the midst of it.  She is looking down and thinking “you know, I did a pretty good job influencing the lives of the people God put into my llife”.  How many of us can say that?  I for one, want to be able to and will continue to strive toward that goal.

Happy Birthday Mama!  I love you,………LeeAnn