Thinking allowed and aloud

I went through the drive thru at McDonalds in Checotah the other day and when I pulled up to the window to pay they had posted a handwritten sign on the window that said :

“no 50 or 100 dollar bills aloud.   I resisted the urge to make some snide comment about money talking though the phrases “hush money” and “money talks” did pop into my head.   I said “nice sign”.  Yea, the girl at the window said…I wrote that cause it seems like everyone has big bills and we are short of change.  I had been going to point out the error, but restrained myself  since I thought she might take offense if she was the goober that had mixed up allowed and aloud.  Then I couldn’t help myself so I said  “ did you mean to use a homonym? “  She looked confused and so I said “never mind”.  And felt a little bad about it. 

For some reason it brought to mind the date I had with Dan the truckdriving man who seemed to think the fact that I wanted to finish my college degree at my age (42 at the time) was pretty stupid.  If I recall, he said he seemed to have did jes fine with an 8th grade edjication. 

I know, I know, judge not lest ye be judged.  And I know that I occasionally have grammatical and spelling errors in my blog.  Even though the word program highlights them for me to check on. I get “sentence fragment” a lot.  Just as I did on the sentence I just typed that starts with Even. Lol  I have told off on myself about saying Burgular for years instead of burglar.  Drove Mike nuts.    Oops..another sentence fragment error.

I was driving along one day and the sign on the Burger King marquee said come in for a carmil Sunday.  Think that one must’ve gone up without manager approval. 

There was a woman at work that used to say flustrated instead of frustrated.   I thought that was a pretty good non-word. Combination of flustered and frustrated.  I even started saying that one myself a lot.

Language has evolved in the last few years to where if you don’t know the abbreviations and codes for texting and facebook, you are just behind the times.  Joe told me he posted something on his sister’s wall yesterday to which she responded lmao.  He had no clue what that meant.  After I finished lmao about that I told him it was a step up from lol, which he did know.  The first time someone put Idk in response to a text question I had asked  I admit I googled idk to find out what it was.   I didn’t know that IDK was short for I don’t know.   Just saying I googled is pretty recent in the scheme of things.

I have a comedy bit about online dating codes.  FWB, DDF, HWP….to name a few.    (Friends with benefits..and they don’t mean health insurance), Disease and drug free (like someone is gonna post that they have  a disease and do drugs) and height weight proportionate (no fatties allowed).  My favorite I made up MBPTBSTAFWB  Married but pretending to be single to attract friend with benefits. 

When Juliet first married Chris she was at times very confused by my corny humor.  She didn’t get the double meaning of some words.  So for example when I sent her a birthday card with a sheep on front saying Happy Birthday to Ewe, she  wondered why You was spelled wrong.  When I sent her a card with a cow in it that said you are udderly amazing, she wondered why I spelled utterly wrong.  The ghost card that said you are boo tiful would have been confusing as well.  I knew she was “Americanized” when she sent me a card with 2 sheep on the front that said “ewe mean the world to me”.

Sometimes I long for the days of old when you were corrected when you said ain’t and I done that , etc.  When you sat and wrote a real letter instead of an email.  When you had to pick up the phone and talk to someone instead of texting back and forth.  And now with the smart phones that correct words sometimes when you type them you have to really be careful what you say on text to be sure that it didn’t get changed.   Once I texted a friend that I wouldn’t be able to do something because I was going to a graduation party and the phone changed graduation to gestation.  That would be a long party.  LOL

I love words.  I love playing scrabble, I love love love playing words with friends.  My new passion is Scramble with friends where you have a couple of minutes to make all the words you can by connecting them on a grid.  I love crossword puzzles.   And as much as I love words, I hate numbers.  I hate Suduko for example…its torture.

Just for fun, here’s what a description of my wedding day would look like in homonymeze.  I know that’s not a word but it should be.

Eye new I wanted to merry on a sundae so a sundae is what I chose.  I didn’t ware a bridle gown, just a simple dress.  Simple with beautiful flour bouquet.   We lit unity candles as a cymbal of our coming together as man and wife.  My sun Andy walked me down theisle.  I’m sure the guessed were odd by the simplicity of the service.  Joe and I made quiet a pear.  When it was threw, I was a misses. My I's weld with tiers.  We knelt at the alter to altar our lives.  I am sure we will halve mini daze of happiness ahead.  Wee had dinner before we left on hour honeymoon.  It was really grate to sea sew mini of hour friends and family.  Wee went two a cabin in the woulds.   The next day it snowed and the seen was amazing.  The whether was grate.

Spell check didn’t catch any  “airs” because the words were not misspelled, just misused.

And now it’s thyme to do something productive….I fill a nap coming awn.