LeeAnn Swanson...has a nice ring to it

This week has been a little hectic and a roller coaster of emotions in some ways.  I am so happy and excited that in just a few days I will be marrying a truly exceptional man who thinks I am truly exceptional too.  My good friend Jerri ‘s daddy’s funeral was on Monday and sitting in that packed Church and seeing how much this man meant to so many people was very touching.  I think our lives can be measured in the legacy we leave behind and I hope that someday when I leave this earth and am in heaven there will be a packed church of people that I meant something to there to celebrate my life.

Tuesday morning Joe and I went and got our marriage license and it brought the reality of the wedding a little closer.  I have not had any second thoughts, and truly believe that God knew exactly what he was doing all those 11 years as he molded me to be the woman I am today.  I walked thru the flames the last 11 years of being single just like the Bible says and I didn’t get burned .  From the heartache and despair to hope and  exhilarating Joy now as I move on to a new phase in my life.  Everything I have gone through from the divorce to the failed relationship to the internet flakes I met has been  for a reason.

Last spring, after many many years of being alone and ok with that, I began to long for the kind of love that a spouse gives …minds out of gutter people….someone to share things with, good and bad, someone to wake up with, to share the load with, someone that smiles when they see me and someone I can lavish my love and affection on.  For the first time in a long time, last spring I felt like I reached a point where I had become all that God intended for me to be.   And once I reached that spot, I was ready, really ready to share my life with someone.  And then there was Joe.

Unexpected, totally out of the blue because I had pretty much decided to close my heart back up after so many encounters and disappointments.  You know that saying about “just when you least expect it” is so true. I have seen that play out time and time again..Just when you give up, boom, what you wanted it right there in front of you.

Tonight a group of co-workers and I went to celebrate my upcoming marriage (IN 3 DAY!) to Joe.  When we walked in one of my co-workers was getting the table all decorated and so the others kept me in the lobby area so she could finish her decorating.  I sat down, looked up and my ex-husband was standing waiting for a to go order.  How ironic it felt.  What could have been an awkward moment gave way to smiles and laughter as I introduced my ex-husband to my friends, all of whom had come into my life after the divorce and so none had ever met him.  It was a good moment.     He moved on, many , many years ago.  And now I am moving on.  We will always be connected because we share a love for our sons .  I kept the Byers name after the divorce for the sake of the kids mainly.  Now after 29 years of being LeeAnn Byers, I will leave that behind as I become LeeAnn Swanson.  Seeing Mike was a bit of closure.  It was nice to hear “Congratulations, I hope you are happy” from someone who at one time had the power to break my heart and spirit. 

 When I got home a really dear friend to me, one of my classmates from 36 years ago that I reconnected with through the reunion planning had messaged me.  His words were so eloquent, and so wise;  its easy to see why he’s been married for over 30 years.  He wrote:

o    Hi, LA.
I'm excited for you and your approaching marriage. I don't know Joe, but the two of you have been on my mind these past few days. It's my wish for you that you'll love and cherish each other not only in word, but in deed. Hold hands. Let Joe open doors for you. Smile and touch each other as you pass. Let "I love you" be your first words to each other every day. Apologize and forgive early and often. And make the Lord a partner in your marriage.

That you would find someone who would see and love you not only for what you are now but for what you will be is not a surprise to me at all. We seldom know the timeline of the Lord, so we work, wait, and trust. But good things come to those who do. (And I would think it wouldn't be hard for the Lord to find just such a man for YOU!)

It’s been a journey the past year.  From the I hate Valentine’s day blog of 2011 to the blog I won’t write on Valentine’s day this year because I‘ll be on my honeymoon.  One year can make a huge difference and just goes to show that with a little faith and hope, dreams really can come true.  Or as my friend said, work, wait and trust.  Good things come to those who do.

I truly understand now why my mom sang “I’m drinking from my saucer cause my cup has overflowed” and meant it.  My cup overflows with joy, with happiness, with hope, with an abundance of love to give and receive.  I know that life will throw me more curves before my time is done here on Earth. I know that Joe and I will have things to work through during our marriage.

12 years ago, I was not prepared to handle heartache and loss and death and disappointment and fear. But some things you can’t control and so I went through it all and came out on the other side.  A little older, a little wiser and a whole lot more grateful for the blessings I have in my life.

Tomorrow, Juliet and Chris will be here to add to my already overflowing joy. Andy will be here on Sunday to walk me down the aisle as Chris serenades Joe and I with his musical talents.  Juliet will stand beside me as more than a daughter in law, as a friend that I count as one of my most wonderful blessings.  Joe’s sister will be there to see him glowing with happiness and joy.  Pastor Rusty, who has watched my journey the past few years will there to join us in a sacred and holy commitment that will withstand the test of time.  There will be friends and family who won’t physically be there but who I know are with me in spirit. There will be friends there, old and new. 

And waiting for me at the altar will be the man that I love.  The man worth waiting for..  An answered prayer.