On my "Soap"box

Saturday, I had to run to Walmart to get drill bits for Joe who was installing a sign at our office.  While I was there I couldn’t help but notice a lady shopping with 3 kids in her shopping cart.  Probably, about 1, 2 and 4 years old.  The lady was dressed to the hilt.  She had on nice clothes, shoes, etc. and a purse that even if it was a knock off had to have cost at least $100.  Ironically, she was buying towels.  Hopefully, she was going to use them on these kids because they were the dirtiest, most raggedy kids I have ever seen.  Filthy to be exact.  The baby was in nothing but a diaper, and the other 2 were in clothes that should have been in a burn pile somewhere.  I couldn’t help but think if she spent less on her clothes and shoes and purse and nails she might be able to afford decent clothing for her kids.  And they were her kids…or at least they called her mama.  Mama, can I have a toy?  one of them said to which her reply was “Hell no, I’m not made of money”.  Made me feel very sad for those kids. Especially when already in her cart was probably $50 worth of makeup and beauty products and a People magazine.

Speaking of moronic parents, I have to add this little tidbit.  I was driving home from work last week and the car in front of me was weaving slightly.  Not like a drunk but I thought maybe the driver was drowsy.  I sped up to see what was going on because there was only one person in the car as far as I could see.  Imagine my shock and horror to find a young woman, breast feeding her baby, breast exposed while steering the car with one hand.   Did she not realize that she was putting that baby at risk?  What if the airbag deployed?  What is she had to slam on her brakes suddenly?  What on earth was she in such a hurry to get to that she couldn’t pull over for 10 minutes and feed her baby.  She glared defiantly at me as I drove past her, I’m sure with a shocked look on my face.  I wasn’t sure what to do. Can you make a citizen’s arrest for stupidity? 

Now back to the lady at Walmart.  There is simply no excuse in my mind for the state of those kids.  Soap and water aren’t that expensive and there is no reason why those children had to be filthy.  She wasn’t.  She must have running water.  What selfishness propels her to care for herself but not her kids.  

My mom used to tell this story which really doesn’t fit with the blog except that it’s about dirt on dishes.  She would tell that my dad and her were at a Gospel festival in the backwoods of Tennessee looking for performers that might want to come to her Gospel barn and sing sometimes. One old man invited them to his home for dinner.  The food smelled wonderful and they were relaxed and having a great time. Then the plates were set before them.  My mom noticed that there was some old dried up food stuck to the plate and tried to wipe it off with her napkin without being obvious.  The host noticed and said, “Im sorry about the dish being dirty but coldwater can only do so much. Oh, it’s fine my mom said. After all they were out in the boonies. She picked up her fork to take a bite and noticed dried food on it as well.  She began to wipe it with her napkin and once again the host said “sorry about that.  Coldwater doesn’t always get it all off.  A few minutes later, the door pushes open and an old hound dog bounds into the room.  Down boy, the host says.  Sorry about that, Old Coldwater here gets excited when he sees strangers.

Of course it’s a joke, pretty funny at that and my mom would tell the story so believably that you were totally caught off balance to realize it was a joke.

Sometimes, it’s hard to overlook the dirt.  I admit there was one Sunday that Brian smelled so bad I could smell him before he even turned the corner to ask for his 50 cents for his Dr. Pepper and for which he will give you a hug.  Ashamedly, I admit I told him I had a cold (I didn’t) and that I probably shouldn’t hug him that day.  The stench was so bad I didn’t want it to get onto me.  And it’s not as if people haven’t tried to help him.  One Sunday School class bought him all new clothes one time and he never wore them. Instead he wore the same dirty clothes he wears most of the time.   How do you politely tell someone they stink and need to take a bath or change their clothes. I remember once in junior high school there as a girl that smelled really bad.  She was a really sweet girl and her clothes were always clean but her body odor was overwhelming at times.  So a few of us got together and bought some soap and deodorant and toothpaste and etc. and had her locker mate open her locker one day and we put them in the locker with a note that said,  no offense but you need to bathe. I’m sure she did take offense but it worked.  Maybe she didn’t realize that she smelled so bad.  

The flip side of that is there are people who are simply filthy on the inside even though all outward appearances would lead you to believe that they are not.  I think of a Sunday School teacher my niece had one time that together with her boyfriend, conspired and murdered her husband so they could be together a few years ago and how shocked everyone at Church was that this well dressed, mild mannered, Sunday School teacher was guilty of something like that.  I once went to a Church that had a guest preacher that I knew was having an affair with a friend of mine’s sister.  Yet there he was at the pulpit, robed and preaching the gospel and it amazed me that he could do that so nonchalantly.  

Years ago, I was teaching a weight loss class (yes I was once at my goal weight) and one of the “exercises” I would do was to present the class with a plain sack (which held a really nice gift) and a fancy sack (in which I had placed garbage.  Obviously , given the choice, most would pick the nice sack.  The point was,that even if someone looks good on the outside, sometimes the inside doesn’t match the outside and sometimes the plain or plump in this example, on the inside were beautiful.  

Sunday at Church, our new preacher, who wants to be called simply , Jack, preached about being a new person.  One of the things he said that I almost said Amen out loud too (what a scandal lol) was that you can give a man a new coat and make him look better on the outside, but Christ can give a man a new heart which regardless of the outside appearance is worth far more.  You can have everything and be nothing, or you can have nothing and be everything.  Or something like that.

Anyway, back to dirty.  When I was a kid we were poor by some standards. We didn’t always have the nicest clothes or possessions.  With 5 kids there were a lot of hand me downs worn.  What we did have was a mother who made sure we were clean and that even our hand me down clothes were clean.  She would inspect us thoroughly to make sure we weren’t dirty before we left the house.  I remember her scrubbing my elbows one time until they practically bled before she realized that it was just natural discoloration from being in the sun or something.  Cutip swabs were a staple in our house.  I remember how thrilled I would be on occasion when she would let me buy Mr. Bubble.  What a treat.   I sometimes wonder if my  “love of doing laundry” is a psychological thing left over from childhood because my mother seemed to be continually washing and hanging out clothes on the line.  One of my favorite things was to help her fold them and smell the clean.

But not only were we clean on the outside, my mother made sure that we were “clean on the inside”. I can remember her insistence on manners.  Being polite to others was not an option.  Turning the other cheek when being bullied was expected.  My brothers would tease me but never in a mean spirited way.  That wouldn’t have been tolerated.  You were respectful of your elders, you said please and thank you and you knew that the worse possible fate would await you if you got a bad report from someone entrusted with your care.

I suppose if it boiled down to a choice I’d rather be a stinky, nice person than a clean, mean one.  Thankfully, I don’t have to choose.  I can be clean outwardly and inwardly.  Inwardly it takes a little more effort sometimes but that’s when I call on my faith, ask God for a clean heart , and start anew. A little spiritual soap and my outlook changes.  And it cost nothing but a prayer.