Just Do It!

A friend of mine posted a funny “sign” on facebook recently.  It read “Life Has no remote, get up and change it yourself”.  

For some reason the remote for my tv has stopped working and I moan and groan every time I have to change the channel or sit down in my chair, remember the remote doesn’t work and have to get up and take 2 steps to turn the tv on.  Talk about spoiled and lazy!  Think about how long it takes to google something you need to know compared to the old day of having to go find the world book encyclopedia and look it up and even then getting outdated information.  Yet, yesterday when I googled something I actually found myself tapping my foot in impatience waiting for the 3 seconds it took the computer to download.  Same with my lunch.  The old days you put the tv dinner in and wait for an hour while it cooked.  Yesterday as I zapped my lunch for 4 minutes I was thinking that it was taking forever…I had things to do…..but I digress. 

I know a lot of people who are just waiting for something to happen before they do something else.  For example, I have a friend whose son is not working at the moment because one of his relatives is on her death bed and he’s sure he’s gonna inherit her house, etc. and so why not just wait it out.  Which is pretty sad!

Or how many of us have said, well I’ll go to my next class reunion because I don’t want these people to see me until I’ve lost 30 pounds, or have a better job etc.  I know there were probably people who missed what was a truly awesome 35^th class reunion last year because of  one of those 2 reasons.

I know a man who is still working and is in his late 70’s.  (not you dad cause you’d go nuts if you didn’t work)…but this man has a lot of hobbies and other interests that he doesn’t get to participate in because he’s still working full time. It’s not a have to situation either.  He has more money than the company he works for most likely.  I think it’s a case of he is afraid he won’t have enough money to buy his much younger wife everything she wants.  (she is a little selfish in my opinion) .  So instead of being out enjoying the things he loves, living life after having worked for ½ a century and more he is still concerned with building his wealth.  Someone needs to tell him “you can’t take it with you”.

How many of us have been stuck in a miserable relationship, or a job we hate, or hang out with people we don’t even like to be around because it’s easier than making the effort to “go through the loss, look for a job, or find new friends.”

When I was single, I did my best to still get out there and do things on my own.  I had no qualms about going places by myself from restaurants to trips.  My mindset was “if I never get married again, if I never have a significant other or a friend that has the same desires as I do when it comes to places to visit or times to eat out, etc. then I need to make life on my own. My family probably worried about me at times, like when I went to Las Vegas by myself.  Or drove to Austin to visit Chris and Juliet on my own.  Though some would say it was the others on the road that were in danger.  There’s a reason I have a bright yellow car…you can see me coming.  I made a choice not to put my life on hold simply because I was single. Eventually, when I decided I would like to have a relationship again, I made the choice to “risk”.  And risk it was.  From speed dating to online dating it took a great deal of “courage” to put yourself out there again.  

Obviously there are constraints in life that sometimes we can’t work around such as jobs and lack of funds to do something we’d like to do.  Sometimes, though it’s more a matter of lack of effort than lack of resources.  It’s easier sometimes to do nothing and talk about doing something than to do it.  

Certainly, I’ve found that out in my quest of healthiness at times.  Because no matter how good of intention I have sometimes to exercise, or drink more water, or eat healthier I mess up.  Just like Paul in the Bible who said something about not doing the things he should do and doing the things he shouldn’t do…or something like that.  

 There’s an old idiom “  there's no time like the present”  which is a belief  that it is far better to do something now than to leave it for later, in which case it might never get done.  Some things cost nothing, don’t interfere with your job and take little time to do and the rewards are immeasurable.  Like taking time to apologize or make amends to someone you’ve hurt. Or turning off the tv and giving your spouse or your child 30 minutes of your undivided attention.  Picking up the phone and calling a friend you have lost touch with just to say hi.  For these things truly there is no time like the present. 

Every since I was young and a friend lost her entire family in a train accident I have had this “hangup” about not staying mad at people, making sure that I am on good terms with everyone I care about.  I would never for example go to bed mad at Joe..nope..If he did make me mad (which has yet to happen but eventually will I’m sure) I would stay up and talk it over if it took all night.  Because you never know if you’ll have the chance to make things right.  I’d hate to think someone died or I died with unfinished forgiveness business.  This friend had fought with her mom and dad about them treating her like a child, making her go everywhere with them when she felt like she was old enough to stay home on her own. This “fight’ was just minutes before her mom, dad, sister and brother were killed on their way to get ice cream.  Her life was never the same but what compounded the grief was that she never got the chance to say she was sorry for the way she had acted.

In hospice, we see a pattern all the time.  Someone will be near death, but something keeps them holding on when all indications are that they should be gone.  It’s usually a family member they want to see and say goodbye to, or someone they want to make amends with, to say they are sorry, etc.  And once that person comes, or tells them they are forgiven or its ok to go, or that they will be ok without them they usually pass on.   There is no time  like the present…to make amends, to make sure your relationships are everything they should be.

Another facebook post said  “ Your life is a result of the choices you make.  If you don’t like your life, its time you start making better choices.”

A friend of mine has a family member who has lost custody of her kids, not because she is a bad mother because she’s not but because she chose to marry a convicted felon, one who had served his “time” but whose crimes involved children.  Maybe he is rehabilitated; but family members didn’t want to take that risk.  In this case she chose the new man over the kids.  Her life without kids is a result of the choice she made.  Plain and simple.  Whether fair or not, she has the power to have her kids in her life.  Sometimes choices have to be made that aren’t necessarily what we believe to be fair but that have consequences that we must live with.

Or a lady I know who is upset because her car was repossessed.  When I asked her what happened she replied that she had stopped making payments because she didn’t have the money.  Yet she expected to still be able to keep the car.  In this case, her choice was to make the payments, keep the car or ignore the payments and let the car go back.  So it makes me crazy to hear her whine about them taking her car.  Of course they did.  They should have.  She chose to default.  The bank is the meanie here.  She is the problem.  Amazingly, she went on a 2 week cruise a few weeks ago.  Wonder how many car payments that would have made.

What’s that saying?  For every action there is a reaction? 

  Every choice we make has a consequence good or bad. I can choose to eat the donut and have the resulting blood sugar spike that makes me miserable and puts my life at risk.  Or I can choose to deny myself that pleasure and feel good.  I always laugh when someone talks about having an affair and says “it just happened.”  NO IT DIDN’T.  You chose to let it happen.  To give in to the desire and damned be the consequences.  No one put a gun to your head and made you get involved with someone other than your spouse.  

There are a lot of days I would love to choose staying home in bed and not going to work because I don’t feel good.  That choice has consequences though and so I would never choose to call in sick if I wasn’t.  Not only is there missed pay, there is a backlog of work and I put a burden on the entire staff who have to pick up the slack.  I can choose not to charge something to a credit card even though the desire is overwhelming to buy whatever it is I want. 

Truly as in the first quote, Life doesn’t have a remote.  And in life there are many channels.  Each channel is an opportunity.  Some people are content with rabbit ears and the 2 or 3 things that they can choose from.  Some people opt for basic cable which is all the things they have to do like it or not and maybe some hobbies thrown into the mix..….  and others are continually adding this package and that to have unlimited choices.  Sometimes, like the tv channels, what to choose to watch or to do with our life can be pretty overwhelming.  

At some point then you have to decide what is most important to you.  Think of your life as a big jar.  Only so much can fit into this jar.  First of all takes some big rocks that represent the things that are really really important to you.  In this case for me, my big rocks are God, Joe and my family.  Then there are some big rocks in there that are necessities…work for instance.  Or for some it may be school.  Or work and school.  Next are some smaller rocks that are hobbies and interest that are important but can’t dominate my time….for me writing, choir, handbells.   By the time those things are in my jar my life is pretty full.  But a few smaller things will fit…..volunteering, walking, talking on the phone, etc.  The point being, you only have so much time so make sure the things that are really really important to you take up the biggest space in your life.   And remember, even if your jar is super super full you can always probably fit in some gravel, or some sand…those things representing things you don’t necessarily want to do…like clean a closet, or mow the yard.

Life is what you make it.  Sometimes you get thrown a curve.  Then you have a choice to let a disappoint make you bitter…or better.  You can change your channel, change your direction and you can start now. And when you mess up, you make the choice to start again.  And when you have the opportunity to make amends for poor decisions, poor choices and the chance to put strained relationships back in order then there’s no time like the present.

As the Nike commercial says “Just Do It”.