Walking along the Arkansa s river takes us right past the PSO Power plant on our way to the 51st street pedestrian bridge. It’s a beautiful walk. You can see downtown in the distance and it doesn’t look that far away. I think Joe said its about 2 miles further than the bridge which is about 2.5 miles from our house. So far I haven’t wanted to go on 2 miles further but I am sure as I build up my stamina that eventually we will be walking that far.
Sometimes things look a lot closer than they appear. I remember several years ago I took Chris and Andy and my niece Jenna on a trip to Las Vegas. We didn’t rent a car or anything. I figured we would just walk everywhere since they were all teenagers. One day we were walking down the strip and decided we wanted to go and do the Stratosphere rides. We had walked from the Tropicana which is on the far south end of the strip to about midway up. I was already tired and my feet were not doing too good because like an idiot I chose that day to “break in some new shoes”. But the “kids” wanted to go and convinced me it wasn’t that far. “Its right up there MOM” I remember Andy saying as if it was a block away. About an hour later we were still walking. We had walked past kind of a seedy area of the strip where there were a few “whistles” and I’m sure not at me. I looked haggard I’m sure by that time with the heat and the exercise. Jenna on the other hand was about 17 and cute as ever. Add a little “fear” into the mix though it was broad daylight and lots of people around and I managed to walk a little faster. When we finally arrived I just wanted to get a room and lay down for about 5 hours. But up we went to the top where we observed the entire city, rode the roller coaster and wandered around the mall inside. Soon enough it was time to start back and for some reason the little bus things weren’t around and so I hailed a cab and we paid a fortune to ride back to where we had tickets to Siegfried and Roy. I had given my ticket to Jenna (who was a last minute addition to the trip) and so my plan was to play the slot machines while they were at the show. Instead, I found a bathroom that had little traffic, filled the sink and literally soaked my feet which were numb and bleeding from the blisters by that point. What a sight I must’ve been. The show was finally over and we took another cab back to the hotel because my feet were like hamburger meat and I was not walking anywhere.
I don’t think that story really had a point but the lesson is clear…know your limits and wear comfortable shoes. Things in the mirror may be closer than they appear but things in the distance are more distant than you might think. Or something like that.
Anyway, back to my original thoughts. As we were walking along the River path we pass by the Public Service of Oklahoma Electric Company with all its transformers and smoke stacks etc. Joe pointed out a flame that comes out of one of the stacks and began talking about how when he was a little boy in the Children’s home in Tulsa he could see that flame from the window and it became a source of comfort for him because it was always there, flaming out, every time he looked out. He went on to say that the reason he loves the Arkansas river so much and loves walking along the path is because the river has always been there, always will be there. For him that river, that smoke stack were symbols of stability in a world where he experienced loss on a daily basis. It gave me some valuable insight into this man that I so admire for his strength and his kindness. In a very real way, those sights, the river and the flame are symbols of his childhood that anchor him to Tulsa. They are a part of his “roots”.
Today as I walked into a strange Church, I felt a little off balance. A sadness overcame me that almost caused me to turn around and go back to my car and drive away. It felt odd and not very comfortable to be in a different Church. My Muskogee Church was a big part of my life. My children grew up in that Church and but for a brief 2 year absence when I went to another Church as I healed from the divorce I went to that Church regularly for about 20 years. And while it’s fun and exciting to be in a new city, one I have wanted to live in for a long time, I didn’t expect to be homesick.
I had the same experience as I walked into the interview last Friday. I felt out of place and overwhelmed with longing for my old job, my old co-workers, the routine and familiarity that comes with being somewhere for a long time.
I bet there are a lot of college kids experiencing that feeling as they move away from home. The excitement of being on their own, in a new place, waiting to start a new life overshadowed at times with an overwhelming feeling of longing for the “old days” Everything familiar is gone, all their routines change and while change is good, it can be scary at the same time. And lots of parents that are getting ready to experience a big change in their life as they move from caregiver to “on call” when needed.
In the last 6 or so months I’ve experienced a lot of changes….change of address, change of occupation and even a name change. Sometimes I wake up and it takes me a second to remember that the man beside me is my husband and the bed I’m sleeping in is in my new RV and it doesn’t matter that its 8:30 because I don’t have to be at work in Checotah.
I’ve been up-rooted and now I need to get re-planted. What a wonderful time I’ve had exploring new places with Joe and hearing his stories of growing up nearby. When we went to Stillwater a few weeks ago to visit Andy I showed him my old school, and Chucks Paint and papers parking lot where I spent a lot of time in High School in my candy apple red Pinto, short shorts and a halter top. LOL That was the “drag” back in those days. I showed him where my dad used to have a store called Surplus Sales and the story about how Dickie Shults had refused to give back my Surplus Sales t-shirt I let him borrow and how my brother Garry had threaten to beat him up and he gave it back to me. I showed him where the Emde’s dairy hut used to be and told him about how Steve was my first boyfriend with a CAR and how he always smelled like a hamburger when he picked me up. LOL I pointed out the Sonic where my car overheated and how embarrassed I was sitting in that stall with the hood up and black smoke pouring out worried that one of the guys I had a crush on would drive by…oh the things we worry about as teenagers. I showed him the street we used to live on (Hoppy Lane) and told him the story of waiting for the bus at Gibble gas and the one time that one of the cutest guys in school (Bill Meeks) gave me a ride when I missed the bus and he saw me walking back toward home. Joe listened with polite interest as I recounted all these memories, ones that are tucked away in my heart and my mind and are a part of my “history”.
Just like the ones that I made in Muskogee will become as new memories and new places and new experiences fill my life.
The water in the Arkansas river is pretty low right now, almost still and one day as we walked they let water out of the dam somewhere and it began to flow right before my eyes. It was a reminder to me that nothing stays the same. People come and go in our lives. New friends and new places and new experiences take their place until the next wave of change rolls through. It may be uncomfortable, it may be a little scary but ultimately I don’t think I would have it any other way. Life is to be lived and experienced and embracing that is the best way to handle it.
Today’s sermon at the Church I visited was called “the Terminal” and was about the Church being like an airport terminal, there to assist people in making their connections which will ultimately lead them to heaven. The minister told a story of a girl who had picked him up one day for a bible study he didn’t want to go to but which she wouldn’t take no for an answer . And how that girl had served as his connection from a non-believer to becoming a pastor as soon as he graduated from high school. He never saw her again as she moved away after that initial meeting. But her impact on his life was profound. She served as his connecting point. From A to B.
Whether the changes in my life are to put me in a position to be a connecting point or to be connected, I don’t know. But I truly believe that “mighty hands are guiding me”, that all the changes in my life have a purpose. That right now this is where I’m supposed to be. I can embrace it, get out and make new friends or I can run from the discomfort of having to get out there and start over.
Look out Tulsa, LeeAnn is in the “house”. LOL
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