So last night I saw on facebook that my sweet daughter in law Juliet had posted a picture of a baby bird they had found on the ground after the big rain storm here in Austin and the caption “please can someone tell me how to keep this baby bird alive”. Not having any experience with birds except for admiring them from afar, I turned to Joe and asked him how she could keep the bird alive. He replied, I don’t think she can honey, a baby bird probably can’t survive without its’ mother. So I didn’t reply to her post because I knew that answer would make her very sad. She had posted earlier about how bittersweet this mothers day would be and that had brought tears. Though most of us have moments of sadness when we think of her miscarriage and the loss, I know that I can’t come close to imaging what pain she feels since I never experienced that kind of loss. Speaking with a family member this weekend who was older than I am and had experienced that kind of loss many decades ago, I realized that it doesn’t matter in the heart the age of the child lost, a child lost is a devastation that you don’t forget.
Back to the bird. When Joe said those simple words, can’t survive without its mother, I realized that God created mothers for a unique purpose and part of that is to shelter and nurture our children until they can “fly on their own”. Even in the animal world. Not that the dad isn’t important. But the mother is the source of life, the source of nutrition and a lifelong source of love that is so strong and so pure that without mothers, the world would be a dismal place.
I realize that some have not experienced the “mother-child” relationship through death or illness or other issues that make it impossible. But I have been blessed to have both an incredible mother that loved and guided me through good and bad and never gave up on me for 45 years and that I still carry in my heart daily, that I still seek advice from in my thoughts, and who I miss so much that I think my heart will simply shatter in my chest with longing at times.
And I have experienced being a mother. Loving and nurturing and advising and cheering for two boys who have grown into incredible men.
Tomorrow is Mothers Day, a day set aside to honor mothers around the world. I have read that tomorrow will be the day that more phone calls are made than any other day of the year as men across the world call their mothers to say thanks mom. Oh how I wish I could pick up the phone and hear my mom’s voice again. Just thinking about it makes me smile. I remember when she would call me she would always say in her unique voice “hi LeeAnn, this is your mom” Everytime. And I would always laugh to myself because there was no way I wouldn’t know that it was her. Her second sentence was always What chu doin”. Not what are you doing. And I would always respond with “talking to you” and we would laugh. Now in the days of unique ring tones that you can set on your phone and caller ID its not a surprise anymore who is on the end of the phone. My co-worker remarked the other day when my phone which rarely rings played “strum” a guitar ring tone that she knew from my face that it had to be one of my sons calling. It was Andy. When I finished the conversation she remarked that she had seen an entirely different side of me in the short 3 minutes I was on the phone. I asked what she meant and she said “ I saw your mom side”. And I knew what she meant. A combination of pride and happiness and joy all rolled into one when you hear those words “hi mama, what chu doing?”
Though Andy is 7 hours away and I won’t be able to see him tomorrow as I celebrate Mothers’Day, I know that I am loved beyond comprehension by this young man of 25. I will get to see and hug and celebrate with Chris though and I am so grateful that God has brought Joe and I to this place where I am able to work once again at a job I love, live in a breathtakingly beautiful area with my amazingly awesome husband and be a short drive away from Chris and Juliet. Now instead of an occasional phone call or visit , I see them every Sunday! Reminds me of that Visa commercial.
Steaks for the grill $30 Tablecloth for the picnic table $10, Sunday dinner with Chris and Juliet and the puppies…Priceless.
And though my own mother is gone and I miss her every day, she lives on in my memories, and in the values and morals she instilled in me that I have passed on to my own children. Tomorrow I will make a call that is a mothers day call but it will be to my mothers best friend, who God has placed with my dad. My dear friend Deronda who has been like a mother to me for the 9 years since my mom died. What a gift God has given me. Instead of a stranger that I would’ve had to get to know and love over time, I have in my life and in my dad’s life a woman who has been a part of our lives long before my mother passed away. What a joy it is to be able to tell a story about my mom and laugh with her about the memory. What a joy it is to hear her say sometimes “You are just like your mom”. Or “I miss your mom so much.” She has become the salve that soothes the wound, the gaping hole that was left when my mom died. What a blessing to have her in my life.
Happy Mothers Day to all of you mom’s out there. And for all you women who have not experienced the joy of mother hood yet, your day will come!
A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path."-- Agatha Christie
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