Paving the Road

What is that saying?  The road to hell is paved with good intentions?  I binged it (googled) and here is what it came up with:

“One meaning of the phrase is that individuals may have the intention to undertake good actions but nevertheless fail to take action.^[4][5] This inaction may be due to procrastination, laziness or other subversive vice.^[6] As such, the saying is an admonishment that a good intention is meaningless unless followed through, which is notoriously difficult for common good intentions such as losing weight through dieting or quitting smoking.”

I like that explanation because I certainly don’t want to go to Hell.  But I am very guilty of good intentions that never get acted upon. 

Yesterday at Church the sermon had some points in it about good intentions and follow through which got me thinking about what things in my life I have actually followed through on.  Where my good intentions actually spurred me to action.  It was surprisingly hard to come up with very many. 

Going back to school and actually finishing getting my degree was the first one I thought of.  Though I am not sure that benefitted anyone but me and the college coffers.

I have always had trouble with the follow through. I remember when I was pregnant with Chris and due any minute saying to Mike “ uh, I don’t think I can do this..I’ve changed my mind.”  Even then I was trying to get out of doing something I knew I had to do…deliver a baby.  I just wanted it to be done and enjoy the benefits of having my awesome baby, not have to labor and deal with all the pain and hospital stuff. 

Just like losing weight.  I just want to diet for like.. a week… and lose 50 pounds.  I always start out with good intentions.  But the follow through only last until the first frustration or mess up. “ Well, I gave in and ate that donut so I may as well throw this dieting attempt out the window. “

Or dealing with my diabetes.  Many many, times I have wanted to just say “forget all the insulin shots and carb counting and medications and dr. appointments.  What difference does it make?  I’m still going to be a diabetic.”  Even if I get a good report, I ‘m gonna have to keep working at keeping it that way for the rest of my life.  And that’s an overwhelming thought.

Or my favorite good intention …EXERCISE!  I know full well the benefits of exercise and if I had been able to bottle that feeling of euphoria when I finished a 5 mile walk or got a great report from the doctor on my blood sugar readings after exercising consistently, or that feeling when your clothes feel a little looser…………………..I’d drink that feeling in and be outside exercising.  Instead, I remember how hard it is to get started and think “well when the weather is better, or when I have time to get some different shoes, or when they re-open my favorite trail……there is always a reason not to do what I have good intentions of doing.

Calling a friend, going over to see my dad, making a trip to Austin to visit Chris and Juliet, buying a birthday card and mailing it on time instead of just putting it on Facebook, organizing my tiny pantry so that stuff doesn’t fall out on my feet every time I open it.  Organizing the “box” which is a cardboard paper box that I toss everything into just to get it off the table.  Probably, the box could be the size of a shoe box instead of the giant paper box and take up less of our already limited space if I would just follow through on the good intention.

I have been working on a book comprised of my mom’s  Sunday school lessons for 10 years now and have 8 chapters….if I would work on it for an hour a day as my good intentions dictate ,I could have it done and be working on the sequels  already.  My book about my dating disasters is on a jump drive waiting for me to finish it.  That one is closer to being finished than the other but I just can’t seem to get it done.

I have good intentions of doing some open mic nights again at Comedy places but it’s been so long that I have managed to convince myself that I’m not funny anymore.  My good intentions to find a Church and get back into the choir and handbells (which I am mediocre at) is now on the back burner.  That one I think I have a legitimate excuse for because now that I’ve lost hearing in one ear, everything I hear is distorted.   I was almost in tears yesterday when I visited Church with my dad because it’s the first time I’ve been since the hearing loss and I  found the music overwhelming because it was coming at my good ear and I couldn’t hear myself sing and so I couldn’t tell if I was on key or not.  I know, I know.  My mom would be chiding me saying  ”who cares if you are singing to the Lord”.  Trust me, I’ve sat close enough to some of those joyful off key singers in Church that I know I don’t want to be one.  LOL

I’ve gotten so good with good intentions that I know I won’t keep that sometimes I have already psyched myself out before I even start one.  This morning, after reading an article over the weekend that stated if you walk 17 miles a week (that seems to be the magic number) you will lose the kind of belly fat this is surrounding your organs.  Seems reasonable, especially if you follow their plan to work up to the 17 miles a week over a 6 week period.  This week I only have to walk 1 mile 4 days.  Very doable.  Yet when I announced to Joe this morning that I planned to do this 6 week plan to work up to 17 miles I could tell he was thinking, as I was even as I spoke it, “I’ll believe it when I see it”.  LOL

 

So back to following through.   I’ve had a rude awakening in trying to come up with successful follow through.  It’s distressing and depressing.  Procrastination on some things that I really WANT to do…finish writing those books, find a Church, visit family more often.  Laziness when it comes to things that I know I should do but don’t really want to put in the time and effort—I want a fast fix…like losing weight and getting into a good habit regarding exercise….why can’t those things be as easy to follow through on as say “I’m going to finish this piece of cake”…SUCCESS!!  I’m going to go to bed super early tonight for no reason…SUCCESS!! 

I’m the only one that can decide whether I follow through or give up.  I have good intentions of changing my mindset and following through on ideas and goals.  Instead of saying I need to….maybe I should say I’m going to and then putting on the walking shoes, picking up the phone and making that call, planning that weekend with family, eating that spinach before it goes bad week after week.

Sometimes seeing the result of follow through is the catalyst I need to think about what it means to do so.  Seeing Anna’s excitement when I came to her Birthday celebration…..seeing Joe’s happiness (and disbelief) when I actually do get up and have coffee with him on his day off instead of hitting the snooze 10 times…….Seeing how happy Quincy is when I actually take him out an extra time or two during the day instead of watching Judge Judy.  Yes,yes, yes!  I can do this.  I am hereby resolving to do the things that I want and need to do.

 

My road is going to be paved with accomplished intentions.  As soon as I…..JUST KIDDING!