I was reading an article last night that was entitled Men’s Top 10 complaints about women. I’m sure there is probably a Womens’ top complaints about men too. But I found the article very interesting. And each complaint that I read made me examine my own life, my own relationships to see if I was guilty of any of the top 10 and if so offer a defense on behalf of myself and women of the world. LOL. Ok, so I will offer a guest blog to any men who want to rebutt any of this. Kinda a he says, she says opportunity.
Number one on the list was that women think of men as projects they can fix. In other words, we try to change the man to fit our needs instead of accepting a man for who he is flaws and all; or simply admitting that the person is not the right match for us. Hmmmm. I think that if anything I am more guilty of adjusting my standards so that the behavior that I don’t particularly like doesn’t bother me as much. Which is probably not a good thing either. I think that’s called settling…if the issue is big enough.
So I dug out my top 10 wants in my next relationship to see if any of the recent “relationships” had conflicting values that I decided to overlook in the interest of not trying to change someone to fit my list.
sense of humor, affectionate, nice smile, family oriented (cause my family is so important to me I can’t imagine someone that didn’t accept or like to be around them) and faithful, accepting of my faith, honest, drug free, non smoker(personal preference –not judging), reliable
Hmmmm…..ok so my last long term relationship started out good. He met 9 of the 10…Smoking I overlooked because all the rest was there. Did I mention that my top 10 are weighted. LOL Mid-way thru the relationship still 9 of 10. But by the end of the relationship 6 of 10 had gone by the wayside. And yet I stayed. I didn’t try to change him. And some of the “broken ones” were pretty major in the scheme of things. So I would have to say that the overall verdict on me anyway would be I am not a women who tries to change a man to fit my needs.
Number 2 on the list was that women set standards too high to attain. Hmmmm. I think that the fact that I have a top 10 (actually I have a top 20) list means that I have standards. Too high to attain? I don’t think so. You don’t find makes X amount of $ on my list, or drives certain kind of car, or has certain type body, or prestigious job or any of the things that were mentioned in the article as things women expected. If faithfulness, integrity, honesty, affection and reliability are too high a standard then maybe I’ll stay single.
Third was that women tend to think too far down the road. Ok this one I may be guilty of. But I don’t want to waste my time and energy on someone who is not interested in making a commitment down the road if things work out. The article said that by the 2nd date women are already evaluating whether a man is husband or father material while a man is still thinking of getting beyond the good night kiss. I can’t speak for all women but the interest in making a commitment down the road somewhat determines getting beyond a good night kiss. Just saying.
Fourth was that we use our emotions as a weapon. The article said that women use tears to manipulate men into getting what they want. Ok, I am guilty of turning on the tears to get out of a speeding ticket (the $160 dollar ticket I just paid should be an indication of how good that worked—actually I didn’t even try this time but I have in the past and it has been pretty successful.) But in a relationship I can’t think of a time that I intentionally cried to make someone feel bad, or guilty or whatever. I admit I am a pretty sensitive soul. I cry at commercials. I cry at weddings. I cry when I see someone else cry. I don’t want to cry so readily. But I do. My point being that I don’t really have control of my tears. So if someone hurts my feelings, or if someone tells me that its over, or if someone says I don’t really want to go out with you (even if it is some total sranger on an online dating site) there may be some waterworks. But to intentionally make myself cry to manipulate someone. Never. Not in my nature. Not gonna happen.
Fifth and then I’ll save the other 5 for tomorrow is that women tend to be overly critical. Nag. Coerce. Threaten, were words used in the article. Hmmmmmm….thats a hard one. Where do you draw the line between realistic expectations and being a nag. Is is nagging for example to say to the guy who stood me up “ Why didn’t you show up?” Or to ask the guy who said he would call me why he didn’t when I talk to him next? Is being considerate of another person too much to ask? I don’t think so. I can think of a few incidents where I may have threatened. As in, if you don’t give up your girlfriend, this marriage is over. LOL I don’t think I fall into the overly critical category either. I have my expectations and if they aren’t met I may decide that the relationship is simply not worth it. If you have to nag, threaten or coerce someone to do something then probably need to re-think that relationship.
Ok so I’m done for now. Hope this has given my female friends some food for thought. Obviously if these are the top complaints men have about women there must be some validity to them.
Thoughts on this?
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