Ivory Soap

When I was a little girl, and actually even now I loved commercials.  When I was young, I believed whatever the commercial told me.  My mom used to laugh because I could recite commercials line for line.  She would sometimes find me in my room with whatever product was being advertised on TV, acting out the commercial for my dolls.

What got me thinking about commercials is that my co-worker posted a picture of the cardboard boat that he has built for our Hospice to participate in the Muskogee River Regatta the end of this month.  Our entry is called Hope It Floats and me and the 3 co-workers that are going to paddle the boat certainly hope it does.

I remember the Ivory Soap commercial from way back when….and the silly song that went along with it.  We used to sing it on the playground.  The Johnsons had a baby, they  named him Tiny Tim, they put him in the bathtub, to see if he could swim. He drank up all the water, he ate up all the soap and now the Johnsons baby, he floats like Ivory Soap.   Or something like that.  I do remember the commercial about the soap. Ivory Soap is 99% pure so it floats.  Not like ordinary soaps that sink because of the added chemicals and dyes.  I begged my mom to buy Ivory so I could do the float test. And it worked.  Ok, so when Chris and Juliet visited this summer they brought a bar of Ivory Soap with them.  And left it behind.  And I love the smell of it.  And I’ve been using it. And YES I have tested it and it does float.  My Zest just sinks.  Silly I know.

Ok so I know basically that if something is less heavy than the water it will float.  So a stick for example will float on the water.   But it’s more complicated than that. The key to floating is that the object must displace an amount of water which is equal to its own weight.

I told our boat builder Jack that if he needed to know exactly how much the team weighed in order to plan the boat that he needed to take what we say we weigh and increase it by 20-25 pounds and then he’ll have a more accurate number.  ‘Cause I know we’d all rather sink than have to admit our weight to a man. The “kids”science question site I looked up “what make a boat float” on (because I am science challenged) says that if you have a block of wood that weighs 50 pounds and you put it in the water, the 50 pounds of water is displaced in order for the wood to float.  Which made me wonder if there is enough water in the water arena area to displace the some 700 + pounds the 4 of us will weigh.  I have visions of our boat sinking to the bottom and just our heads being visible as we sit in the boat.  LOL

It would make sense to me that the less weight in the boat the faster it would move.  Since we only have one really small person in our office we had to throw out that idea and just pick the people, who like me were willing to risk looking like idiots when we tip the boat, knock each other out with the paddles, or just plain sink. It is a boat made of cardboard after all.  From that group of adventuresome employees we had to take into account and eliminate those who are afraid of water, refuse to wear a swimsuit, or didn’t know what a paddle was, let alone how to use one. We also chose to enter the All Women Category because we thought we would have a better chance of winning against other all woman teams. I just hope we all manage to get in the boat and actually make it move before it sinks.  There is a prize for the most spectacular sinking, however, so all may not be lost.

As for design, if our boat resembles a coffin I assure you it was not intentional. Our boat builder Jack looked at several designs and chose one that was do-able in the time frame he had to work on it. So when he posted the pics of the boat and several people commented that it was shaped like a coffin he was not amused.  Because we are representing Hospice for crying out loud, a coffin shaped entry with Horizon Hospice on the side would be poor taste.  Not to worry though, our Volunteer Coordinator who is a decorator extraordinaire will waterproof paint and decorate our boat into something amazing. I assure you it will not look like a coffin when we are done.

Regardless of sink or float, I refuse (as the oldest sailor on our team) to be shown up by the other rowers.  So I have been working out on the rowing machine at the gym on a regular basis. It’s a double bonus..my arms are toning and I am building endurance for rowing.  Though in a cardboard boat I doubt we are going to be in it for long enough to wear out my arms anyway.

And I find the float and sink analogy applies to life as well.  If we keep our life as pure and simple as possible and aren’t weighed down by drama, and lies and negative attitudes then we are less likely to sink into despair.  Not that we won’t have moments when we get knocked down by waves of disappointment and hurt because everyone is gonna face some stormy seas at some time in their life.  But for the most part, if you are focused on the blessings that life has to offer, the wonderful things that we take for granted every day then you are much more able to stay mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically afloat.

And when ultimately, the time comes when you are ready to bail out, get rid of the things that are weighing you down and you will stay afloat.  Just like Ivory soap.

Ahoy