No means NO

Remember that song years ago that had the line “what part of no do you not understand?”  As a parent I know I said the words No means No several times when the answer didn’t stop the begging. Yesterday I mentioned the 2 “weirdos” from match.com  Well one of them I apparently didn’t totally block because he emailed me last night on the site.  And so rather than just block him again…which always makes me feel kinda mean even though I certainly shouldn’t I took a minute to email him back to say “I’m not interested, I don’t think Long distance things work out, yadadada  Sorry but I’m just not interested.”  Best of luck on your search.

Usually that does it.  And they go away and the emails, messages stop. But this one isn’t giving up.  And so I had to contact match.com and have them block him since another email came thru this morning in spite of  me hitting block sender after I “let him down easily”.  The thing is, if this guy was the real thing he really has some nice words though I’m sure they are copied from a book somewhere.

Ok so keeping in mind that I have had 2 chat conversations with this guy, 2 emails both very general, he knows nothing about me except what is in my profile I am going to share what he wrote back. His words in italics.. my thoughts in regular type.  He’s at least given me some blog material, something to think about anyway. Not a total waste of time.

Morning is a wonderful blessing,either sunny or stormy. it stands for hope.......given it a start of what we call LIFE.

That is certainly true.  Everyday is an opportunity to start over, to vow to do better than the day before.  Someone said the other day when I asked how they were ..well my name wasn’t in the obtiuaries so I guess I’m doing good.  But I like what cyberstalker guy says about Morning standing for hope.  My friend Brad always says “may your day be all you hoped it would be”. And I usually don’t think of morning as a wonderful blessing until I have had a chance to drink my coffee and wake up my “sunshine personality”. 

God gave me you so I won't be blue, to keep me company so there's no need to worry. Through good and bad, I know, I have a friend so dear, so true, and that friend is you.Yes i really understand you about the distance thing you are talking about.Lee i just want you to know that distance is the best way of testing a true love and i think with that and the more we talk we can get to know more about our self.Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end.Though miles may lie between us, we're never far apart, for friendship doesn't count the miles, it's measured by the heart.

Ok so that paragraph is a little creepy.  I doubt seriously that GOD gave me to him. And while I know there are people who have met and end up together from corresponding with someone that is many miles away, I don’t really want to do that. And the fact that he shortened my name to Lee like we are familiar really aggravates me. I hate being called Lee btw.

 Life they say is touch and go. Some people you know may only be there for a time. Some may go away but people who find you special will always find ways to stay.

This sentiment I get.  I was thinking a couple days ago about people who at one time were a part of my daily life.  Friends that I didn’t go a day without talking to.  And that I have no idea when or why they ceased to be a part of my daily life.  And then there are those like my childhood friend Joni who I haven’t seen in years but who I know I could call anytime and she would do anything for me.  Just as I would for her.  She is one of the special ones that has found a way to stay.   Friends like her, I do believe God gave to me.

The answer to the mystery why people fall in love over and over, despite all the pain inflicted, is because the good times (no matter how brief) make it all worthwhile.

Yep, that’s something I can say I agree with. Because in spite of the creeps, the liars, the ones that have broken my heart…I still believe in love.  Because loving someone and being loved in return  is the most wonderful feeling in the world.  I remember when my mom died and my dad was on the front row at the funeral and you could look at his face and see the heartbreak in it because he had loved my mom for 54 years and now was going to have to live his life without her.  A couple years later, one of my mom’s friends died and at her funeral her husband had the same expression as my dad had on his face.  And it was different from the expression on the faces of the kids and the grandkids and the friends that had gathered to say goodbye.  And both times I remember thinking that when I die, I hope I leave behind a spouse that loves me so deeply that the depth of their sorrow is shown on their face like it was my dad’s and Robert Steed.

Never take for granted every person close to your heart,because you might wake up one day and realize that you've lost a diamond because you were too busy collecting stones.

Ok so that is great advice and I hope everyone out there that has the blessing of a great love in their life will realize that they are incredibly blessed and take the time to say it and show it and don’t take it for granted..  I’d like to think that maybe I’m a diamond that some moron has passed over because they were busy collecting stones.  Somewhere out there is the person that will recognize that I may not be a flawless diamond but some of the most precious stones have imperfections.

 I still wants and needs you so please i think we can build up  stronger relationship.Looking forward in hearing from you. take care.Ok so this was creepy and so I put away my “kindness” and contacted the site manager and had him forever removed from being able to contact me.

I truly believe that there is such a thing as woman’s intuition.  Ocassionally, I have turned off my internal weirdo gage and over looked some red flags that I should have paid attention to.  And some things are pretty obvious if you know what you are looking for.  For example, if you see a profile that under what you are looking for says women 18-55 and the guy is 60 that probably should raise a flag. 18?  Seriously?  I emailed back and asked if it was a mistake because sometime you don’t realize what your settings are defaulted to. He sent back Nope, I like the young ones best. Blocked, deleted and added to my creep list.

I have become quite efficient at perusing the online sites and hitting the not interested button pretty quickly.  So just in case any of you want to set me up, here are the things I look at, my decision makers, deal breakers I call them.

Ok so it’s not so much looks though I do look at the photo and if they look creepy I usually don’t go any further. I don’t really know how to describe what creepy looks like but you know it when you see it. I usually look at all the additional photos if the profile photo is ok and if they are posing without a shirt (and trust me most 50-60 year old men should not do this) then I immediately move on.  I think that says something about them..and not anything good.  Pictures with grandkids and puppies are good.  But not automatic green lights.

Ok so once we are past the photos (and the smile is the attraction for me) so the frowning pics that some guys post with absolutely no pictures of smiles/personality I skip.  Either they are way too serious for me or they are hiding the fact that they have no teeth. LOL 

Next I really do look to what they are looking for and if it says slender, athletic for body type I move on because # 1 I am not and #2 seems somewhat shallow, especially if they are in one of the extra pounds, big as a barn categories from their photos. (ok there’s really not a big as a barn category)  .  Also I look at the age thing and if they are interested in women more than 15 years younger I automatically hit next.  Not saying that there’s anything wrong with that and I have several friends that are married to men 15 or more years older.  Just not for me.  And then there’s distance.  If it says within 20 miles or less of where they live only then I usually not only don’t qualify because there are very few Muskogee men on the sites; but it indicates to me that they   1. Aren’t willing to travel outside their  comfort zone to meet someone or 2. They want to be able to be close enough to see someone every night if they want and I’m not an every night kind of person. I like my space. 

Ok so now my turn to be shallow for a minute. I don’t want to go out with someone shorter than me. Not that there is anything wrong with it….but just not for me. I like to be at least eye level. 

Finally, I look at what it says next to religion.  I am strong in my beliefs and my faith is of great importance to me and so if they say none or agnostic or a religion that would directly conflict with mine then I move on.  The ones that say Religious but not spiritual I can’t figure out what they mean and so I usually am willing to find out if all the other “criteria” is met.  The ones that say Spiritual but not religious I have found to mean they believe in God but not in going to Church.  That’s not a deal breaker.  Unless me going to Church would be.

Oh and just so you know my # 1 pet peeve is men who email me and call me baby, or sweetie, or honey.  Drives me up the wall.  One guy I asked not to call me those names and he got really aggravated. I said well its just a familiarity thing and since you don’t know me at all at this point, I don’t want to be called those “endearing” terms.  When he continued to do so, I blocked him even though he might have been a nice guy. 

I have this David Grey cd and there is a song on it called Be Mine that I absolutely love.  One line from it sums up what I want....the kind of love I desire....
"everyday feels so incomplete, till you walk into the room"....I LOVE THAT! I want someone to think that about me.  And I'm not gonna settle til I find him.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T…..thats what its all about.  Oh and good grammar is a definite plus.  I ain’t kiddin’

L