What a beautiful day it is outside today…..on what marks the 10th anniversary of a tragedy . At Church this morning the choir sang a song that was written for this day called In Memoriam. It was difficult to sing with a lump in my throat but got through it.
We give them back to you Lord, these loved ones who are lost to us
In living were not lost to us, in dying were not lost to you
When I try to wrap my mind around the amount of grief that was felt on that day 10 years ago, I find it impossible. The lives of so many people changed in an instant. So many innocent victims of hatred. Far reaching beyond those who died to those left behind.
This week has been particularly tough watching the footage of the Twin Towers collapse, hearing the stories of survivors, hearing the stories of those left behind.
Certainly, remembering 9/11 today has brought sadness. But it has also given me an attitude of gratitude that surpasses what I usually feel. Never has the thought “it could be so much worse” penetrated my head like today.
Yes, I have experience loss. My loss was expected. I knew my mom was dying and so I was able to come to terms with that long before her actual passing. Those children who told their parents good bye as they left for work that day, never to see them return…..those spouses who kissed their wife/husband good bye that day saying Have a good day at work, or don’t forget to pick up the dry cleaning, or see you at my ballgame tonight daddy….wow! Incomprehensible grief.
And all the things that have annoyed and frustrated me this week take on a new significance. They are minor little bumps. In the scheme of things, they don’t really even matter.
I have a friend whose birthday is today. Yet she doesn’t list it on facebook and she doesn’t celebrate it. She encountered personal tragedy in the loss of her son on September 13. Fifteen years earlier, on her 9/11 birthday she was sitting in a hospital room coming to terms with the gravity of Chad’s situation. She didn’t lose hope. 10 years ago she walked into her office on her birthday to see the tv coverage of the Twin Towers falling. Its no wonder that this day and the days to follow fill her with sadness. My prayers are with her today.
Life goes on for all of us. National tragedy, personal tragedy may stop us in our tracks. We may feel a bit of hopelessness and an immense burden of grief for a while. Eventually, the hope returns, the grief begins to be a little easier to bear. With courage and strength we continue to live. Our lives will never be the same. But we have to go forward for there is no other option.
In the song this morning, some of the words were
And death, a mere horizon, that obscures what lies beyond.
I think what lies beyond is heaven, a place where our loved ones who have gone on before us await anxiously for us so that we can be reunited. A place where joy and peace abound and there are no tears of sorrow and sadness. I remember when my mom died someone said to me “well you will see her again in heaven”. I believe that. But my response, in my grief and despair that she was gone, was “yes but I don’t want to have to wait 10, 15, 20 or however many years I have left to see her. I still miss her. But, I realize too that my time on earth is not done and that I have a lot of living left to do. She would be proud of how I have carried on with my life and I’m sure in heaven she smiles everytime someone tells me “your mom would have loved seeing you do this…or that…”
In tribute to all those who have gone on before, my prayer is that their lives will not be forgotten. Someone loved them and still miss them. Their lives though cut short were not in vain.
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