On the way to work this morning, I watched as an impatient driver cut off another driver on the highway and gave them the finger.  This resulted in one driver tailgating the other for miles and then returning the finger as they exited the highway at some point.  I was thinking how stupid and unnecessary the whole thing was and wondering why it was such a big deal to the one car that the other car was not moving fast enough.  They were going a little slower than the speed limit.  But why not just go around without having to flip them off? 

I was still thinking about rudeness when I walked in to work this morning to find 2 employees in a shouting match in the hallway while the other employees who had gathered in the conference room looked on in disbelief.  Trying to shuffle them into a private area was difficult and before that could be accomplished one of them walked away, went and sat down and the spat was over.  Not a good way to start a Monday morning, particularly since there were 2 new employees in the conference room.  We always stress in interviews the “family atmosphere” that prevails at our hospice.  And I suppose that in every family there are disagreements and fights occasionally. For the most part though, we all get along. 

My job as Business Manager/Human Resource person puts me directly in the middle of conflicts at times.  As someone who goes out of her way to avoid conflict and confrontation in my personal life, I have had to learn to be diplomatic and direct when it comes to handling this kind of situation.  It’s never easy and never pleasant.

I know people who actually have no problem with confrontation.  I suggested to one friend that she have a service called dial-a-ream because she has no problem arguing with store clerks and waitresses and anyone that she feels didn’t measure up in their service.  I think that’s a good thing; but sometimes it gets taken a little too far.  It’s almost as if she wants people to mess up so she can call them on it.

Is it really necessary to jump up and down and scream and yell and throw fits to get treated fairly nowadays?  Is the squeaky wheel gets the grease adage the norm now?   I listened the other day as one of my co-workers tried to get an insurance company to get going on the claim he had submitted. It took him talking to 4 different supervisors to get someone to listen and solve the problem for him.  Had he not called and been persistent, I bet his claim would still be “being reviewed”.

In the case of the shouting match between co-workers, was it really necessary to let a disagreement reach that level that it became a major battle.  Why didn’t they sit down and discuss it and work it out in normal voices and in private quarters? 

So much tension and fighting could be avoided if people would simply do their job to the best of their ability, in the timely manner required without cutting corners.  If everyone would take a moment to think about their actions and how they affect others.  

I have a friend with a teenage daughter that drives her crazy.  She found that she was confronting her constantly on every little thing they disagreed about. Then one day she decided to ignore the little annoyances and only make a big deal out of the real issues.  Her new mantra, that she repeats when the teenager has done another thing that irritates her, is to say to herself  “Is that the hill I want to die on? “ I find myself thinking that sometimes when I start to feel annoyed by someone or some situation.  Sometimes it’s worth speaking up about.  Most of the time it’s not.  And so I let it go. 

It seems like lately that shoddy service is becoming the norm.  Just like being rude has become acceptable over common courtesy.   Where is that spirit of excellence?  What has happened in our society that doing things just good enough to get by is acceptable? 

It’s getting harder and harder  to find someone with the kind of work ethic that used to be the norm years ago.  And it carries over into other areas.  Today at work as I went to wash my plate in the sink I could barely get to it because it is pile high with dishes that people have left for someone else to do in spite of the sign that says please clean what you use.  From there I went to the restroom where the empty paper towel roll was still on the holder….instead of replacing it when the last sheet was used, someone had left it empty.  When I went to make a copy the copier was jammed.  Apparently whoever jammed it was content to leave it jammed for the next person to have to deal with. 

One of my neighbors has a sheet on their fence with the words “R&R Roofing installed a roof that leaks” painted on it in bright red letters.  I’m assuming that R&R wasn’t willing to fix their shoddy workmanship and in frustration the neighbor wanted to tell everyone they could.  You’d think it would be more important to keep their reputation than to save a few bucks.  Whatever happened to satisfaction guaranteed?  Another person has taken a billboard on Main Street to announce to the world that a certain car dealership sold them a lemon.  Seems like over kill.  I think that if I were that dealer I’d try a little harder to reach some sort of agreement.

Joel Osteen tells this story in one of his sermons about a builder who was given a job by a wealthy friend.  The friend told the builder that he wanted him to build him a house and gave him the money up front to do so.  The builder, seeing an opportunity to keep more of the money for himself, used cheaper quality products, cut corners wherever he could and pocketed an extra 10,000 for himself.  When it came time to turn over the house to the owner, the owner said “congratulations, you have just built your new home.”  The friend gave the house to the builder.  Imagine the builders thoughts about the shortcuts he had taken, especially when after a few months in his new home he had to start sinking money into repairs to fix the problems he himself had created, not caring because he didn’t think he would have to deal with them once the house was built.

Had the builder had a spirit of excellence , a work ethic that was solid, did the job as if he were doing it for himself, he would have been so much better off in the end.

Truly if we treated others as we want to be treated and if we did every job as if it were for ourselves and not someone else think of how great that would be.