Hope&Despair

I was listening to a book on cd a few weeks ago.  Can’t remember the name of the book but it was really interesting.  The story was about a drifter who ends up in the middle of a murder investigation.  The names of the towns in the story are Hope and Despair.  Hope is a thriving community in the book.  Despair is a city that has nothing but a failing manufacturing plant in it.   What separated the towns in the book was a paved road from Hope that became a rutty, gravel road as you crossed the city limit into Despair.

Sometimes it’s a fine line in our lives that separates hope from despair.  A lot of that has to do with attitude.  It’s a proven fact that a person’s attitude can affect the outcome of an illness.  Without hope, a person can fall into despair and that despair can be a trap that they can’t get out of.

The saying “the straw that broke the camel’s back “  means  A problem or obstacle that may be trivial in itself, but pushes the total array of problems encountered in a task to an intolerable level.

A friend of mine seems to be caught in a whirlwind of problems the last few weeks.  Health issues, relationship issues, work issues, car issues….very few things are going her way.  While she is a person who seems to take on whatever comes her way with ease and a positive attitude,  I can see her usual hopeful self slipping toward a state of despair.  I think what she really needs is a few days away from all the turmoil.  She isn’t sleeping, she isn’t eating and as the burdens continue to pile up she withdraws further and further from offers of help.  I read somewhere the quote “the best bridge between hope and despair is a good night’s sleep”.  I think sometimes the best bridge between hope and despair is prayer….(rhymes better too).

I’ve had periods of my life where I have come very close to a state of despair.  Despair defined is a complete loss of hope.  I remember feeling that way as my mother lay dying and there was nothing anyone could do to change the outcome.  I remember feeling that way when the divorce papers came to me via fax …my hopes of being able to turn things around and save the marriage were squashed.   We all experience moments of despair in our lives.  I remember once, during a particularly hard time in my life I got a card from a friend that had a picture of a cat hanging on to a rope with its claws…It read “when you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. Sometimes that’s all you can do.

You see despair in the faces of the people who have just lost everything in an earthquake, or a flood, or a fire.  You see despair in the faces of starving people around the world.  You see despair on the faces of the dogs on that tear jerker commercial where Sarah somebody sings about euthanizing dogs. You see despair on the faces of people at the unemployment offices.  At my class reunion recently we were discussing a few classmates that were no longer with us that had taken their own lives. And I wondered what could have driven them to such a state of despair. 

Yesterday at Church I asked a friend about someone that used to go to our church. I asked if she had heard from her lately.  She had.  She said, “well she’s not doing so good.” Still trying to sell her house? I asked because I knew that had been one of the “burdens” she had been facing last time I talked to her.  “Yes,” said my friend.  “And she lost her job, her dad died a few weeks ago and last week husband killed himself. “ WOW! Talk about despair.   Any other state of mind would be unbelievable. Yet this woman was still standing, still standing on faith that God had her life in his control. What an enormous test of faith.  Suddenly, my problems seemed miniscule in the face of what she was dealing with.

Life is like that.  Sometimes when everything is going my way I look around and my friends are struggling with issues.  It doesn’t matter who you are, what you have, what you do.  All of us will have trials.Look at Steve Jobs.  All the money in the world couldn’t buy him a cure for his cancer. 

My offers of support and help for my friend have been brushed off. I’m fine, “she says” when obviously she’s not.  Sometimes we can do nothing for someone but hope that things get better for them.  Hope that somehow they will find the silver lining in the dark clouds that surround them.  Sometimes, saying nothing at all is the best thing we can do for someone……as long as they know we will be there in a heartbeat if they need us.  And she is in my prayers.  

Prayer is hope spoken.