Life sometimes resembles a roller coaster, full of ups and downs, highs and lows. The key is to jump on the ride instead of standing on the sidelines. And then holding on for dear life as the curves and twists and bends and upside down loops envelope you.
Last week was a roller coaster for me. Totally out of the blue, we were told that our Hospice had been sold and we would have new owners. In the six years I have been working for hospice, we have had several changes. There have been some good changes and some that weren’t so good. What remained intact was the team spirit, the family atmosphere, the watching out for each other. Going through the changes pretty much intact with my co-workers has been a blessing.
Monday when we were told the news and told that we would learn the details on Tuesday, all of our worlds turned upside down. The anticipation and the fear of the unknown pretty much enveloped us all. Our leader, my boss, who has been in my life for 6 years as a boss, a mentor and a friend assured us that it was just one more change to get through and that she felt confident we would stay intact, weather the storm together for she had been assured that it would be business as usual.
I went home Monday night feeling pretty down because in spite of the assurances, I’ve been working for 37 years and been through lots of take-over’s, lay-offs, and etc. and there is always some loss. Always. Whether it be a co-worker, or benefits, or a salary decrease there is always a negative involved.
When I arrived Joe had made me dinner AND a sugar free chocolate pie (he has taken the fact that I have diabetes to heart) and he is determined to join me on my get healthy journey. Then unexpectedly, he proposed. What a wonderful surprise and what a joyful moment for me. To go from a state of downheartedness to elation was a pretty big change.
Tuesday, still on top of the world because of Joe, I went to work. My mood was picked up on by my co-workers who were elated about the engagement. Then the news came that our boss, who we have known and loved and respected and admired for many, many years was going to be replaced. From a high,high to a low, low. And while the rest of the team has seemingly survived the takeover and have jobs there is a high degree of uncertainty, a high level of stress as brace ourselves for what’s to come. Change is always scary.
It’s at times like these that I am so thankful for my strong faith and my relationship with God. I truly believe with all my heart that God will protect me and guide me regardless of the circumstances. I haven’t always felt that way. But somewhere along the line I realized that my fate is not totally up to me and there are some things I simply cannot control. That’s a good place to be. Takes away a lot of the anxiety and pressure when you learn to go with the flow. The adage about when a door closes, God opens a window has proved to be true in my life over and over and over. May take some time to get to a point where I can look back and see His hand in what happens. One of my favorite verses as I’ve mentioned before , Jeremiah 29:11 for I know the plans I have for you……is a source of comfort when my mind starts envisioning all the scenarios of any situation.
Loyalty as we knew it seems to have fallen a long ways in the last few years. Instead of rewarding those people who have given their best to a company for many years, it seems that more and more those are the ones who are on the losing end as younger, cheaper workers come into the work force. Age and experience don’t seem to matter anymore. I have heard of several people my age, who have worked many years and given their all to a company, recently talk of being laid off. And while, knock on wood, that hasn’t happened in my case I know that it is a reality in today’s world. Loyalty is not valued like it once was. There are no gold watches as you are pushed out the door to retirement.
Personal loyalty seems to be more and more difficult to count on these days too. More and more people are entering into affairs according to the statistics and more and more people are getting divorced. Seems like the adage if it ain’t broke don’t fix it has turned into if it ain’t broke then trade it in anyways for a newer model. Sometimes the people you thought you could count on are the ones who let you down the most.
Being involved in the online dating you meet a lot of people and one of the first things I ask is how long and why they are divorced. I think you can tell a lot about a person by the answer to that question. More often than not one or the other spouse has left the marriage because they have “fallen in love” with someone else. “ It just happened” is something that more than a few devastated spouses have heard. Things don’t “just happen” Somewhere along the line a conscious decision is made to put personal satisfaction before loyalty. If it wasn’t a cheating spouse, which by far was the most frequent reason given, it was a financial crisis of some sort. One spouse loses their job and the other bails out, not wanting to suffer through the aftershock with their partner. I can’t imagine abandoning someone I love when the chips are down. But seems like in many ways we have become a selfish, throw-away society.
It makes me sad. I know there are no guarantees in life. I know that sometimes you just jump into a situation without really thinking it through. Or you find out after committing to something or someone that it just isn’t the right fit for you. There will always be incidents of that kind. When I mentioned to someone the other day that I was engaged to Joe they said “oh well, if it doesn’t work out you can always get a divorce.” This same person has had several jobs in the last year. Each one she goes in with the attitude “well if I don’t like what they tell me to do or the schedule they give me” I can find another one. I think when you view life with this attitude, you probably are going to have a lot of relationships and jobs. I replied, “divorce is not an option, if I wasn’t willing to be with someone through the ups and downs that inevitably come, I wouldn’t get married”. I’m sure that she walked away thinking I was unrealistic and old fashioned. Good for me then!
Sadly, sometime you can have the best of intentions. You can be tenaciously loyal to a person or a job. Unfortunately, you only control half the situation. And you can’t stop someone from leaving you or a job from replacing you if that’s what they want to do. What you can do is hold your head high, knowing that you gave it your best. What goes around seems to come around in this life. Your next relationship may be better than you could have imagined and that dream job could be right around the corner. Take heart in that.
And as for you my dear friend (and you know who you are) take the lemons and make lemonade as the saying goes. Together we have faced struggles and triumphs in business and personally. This is but a bump in the road. You may not be there day to day, but I predict that our lives will stay entwined. A friend like you is hard to find. A tenaciously loyal friend even rarer. You have that in me. L
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