Pot of Gold

I  read in the news about a quadruple rainbow that someone had photographed.  Apparently a quadruple rainbow is pretty rare.    The article got me thinking about the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.  When I was a little girl I really believed that there was a pot of gold at the end. And sometimes it didn’t seem like the rainbow was that far away.  I remember once riding my bike toward what I thought was the end thinking about what I would do with all that gold if I found the rainbow.  I remember buying all the Archie comic books, Chocolate Soldiers and Honeybuns I wanted was a high priority.

Over the last years I feel like I’ve been searching for that elusive pot of gold at the end of the rainbow in regard to dating.  And just as when I was a child, I had come to the conclusion that a finding a good man was about as elusive as finding a pot of gold.

Then just when I had pretty much given up, had decided that it simply was too much work to weed through the profiles on the dating sites and go out with men that looked good on paper but were total jerks in reality, or nice guys but not interested in an actual relationship, just FWB (friends with benefits)  along came Joe.

Kindness, consideration, respectfulness and affection are in the pot of gold I’ve found.  Character, integrity, unselfishness and candor are in the pot.  A great smile, genuine, down to earth, old fashioned and stable are in the pot.  Throw in tall, good looking and looks really good in a uniform(security guard). And the fact that he thinks I’m amazing and beautiful and I think I’ve found the pot of gold.

I told my co-workers if I began to gush about what a wonderful guy Joe is, if began to have a goofy smile on my face for no reason, if I got excited when an email or text message from him popped  up on my phone to just slap me for being so annoying.   I got threatened yesterday!

I have high hopes for this relationship to go the distance and so does he.  Regardless, I have a renewed sense of hope because as Joe says “there are great guys out there LeeAnn.  I just found you first.”  I would have argued that point a few months ago when rejection, abandonment, being stood up and sent pictures of things I didn’t want to see were part of my experience.  When the “single men” I met online turned out to be married or shallow or liars.

But just when you least expect it……and not just in regard to relationships.  Sometimes things don’t happen in our timing or the way we expect them to.  That job we wanted and didn’t get only to find our dream job a few months later, that relationship that didn’t work out and we didn’t know why.     If we have faith, if we have hope, if we truly believe that things happen for a reason and that God is in complete control, we have peace of mind.

Peace of mind that what is meant to be will happen even if it’s not on our time table.  We have only to be open to whatever comes our way.  Good or bad.  Life is about accepting the things we cannot change and embracing  the blessings when they come.

I’m not there yet. I still get frustrated about things that don’t happen when I want them too and people who don’t respond the way I think they should.  Sometimes it may be years later when you sit and think about a situation that didn’t go the way you hoped, or didn’t happen in the time frame you had in mind.  And occasionally, you can see the reason after the fact.

I’ve mentioned before how I was laid off my job about the time my mom took a turn for the worse and I was in my last semester at NSU, still missing Chris who had started his freshman year at OSU…..not a good time, though there is probably not a good time to be told you are being laid off.  Looking back  though, what a blessing it was to be laid off at that time because it allowed me to be with my mom those last weeks of her life.  I also learned about Hospice during that time and when it came time to find a job and a job with a hospice came open I knew it was something I wanted to do.  And still do. Hospice is a calling. It’s not for everyone. I feel like I’m where I am supposed to be.  Had Bob not decided to retire unexpectedly and lay off me and my co-worker I’d probably still be at that job.  I wouldn’t have spent the time with my mom because I wouldn’t have had the time off and I wouldn’t have met my hospice co-workers who are some of my best friends!

If one of the youth hadn’t backed out of the mission trip the summer of 06, opening a spot for Chris to fill he wouldn’t have met and married Juliet. I can’t remember what life was like before Juliet.  She has become an integral part of my life and I love her dearly.  You did good Chris!

I don’t know why after prayer after prayer after prayer that my house will sell it has been on the Market for almost 3 years.  But God knows.   So  when I get frustrated about it, because I want so badly to downsize and pay off all my debt and be out from under the strain of being in a house that’s way too big for me, I tell myself that there  is a reason for the delay.  That when it’s time, it’s time.  That someday I’ll know the reason.  And I’m ok with that.

Patience is one of the fruits of the spirit that I have had to really work on.  The others, love, joy, peace,   kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control have come pretty readily.   Sometimes   patience pays off in a big way.  Sometimes, things we want are worth the wait. 

And as for Joe, well I’ve been humming the Vince Gill song called When Love Finds You…

And when you least expect it, it will finally come true

There’s nothing you can say, when love finds you