Time out!

As I was leaving a baby shower yesterday, the sign on the Church marquee said “don’t just spend your time, invest it.”   It made me think of the time when Andy was about 4 and we were headed to Kingfisher.  He wondered why his dad wasn’t coming with us and I told him that it was because his dad’s friend Jim was coming to Muskogee and that he wanted to spend some time with him.  Andy, thought I said spin some time.  He got really quiet then looked at me and said how do you spin time mom?  Like this and he made a spinning action with his little hand.  Cracked me up.   He was always misinterpreting things like that.  Once he told me a movie had no sex in the window.  I was totally confused until he started reciting the advertisement…rated pg, some sexual innuendo.  Another time he told people he was tested for key lime disease.   And who could forget him singing Little Douche coupe.  LOL  Ok, now that I’ve thoroughly embarrassed my son…..back to my point. 

Sometimes we do just spin our time instead of spending our time.  Let alone invest it.  That’s one of the changes that I made last year. When I made my Lenten promise to give up 30 minutes of laziness a day and to use that time to walk instead of watch crap tv I realized very quickly that I didn’t really miss wasting time veging out in front of the tv. Suddenly, it became more important to use my time more wisely.  And I found that I was just as happy not knowing who didn’t get the Bachelor’s rose, or who managed to get over the giant bouncy ball.  I began to pick and choose the things that occupied my time a little more carefully.   I learned to say no which was huge!  I sought out things to occupy my time that  were good for me…an investment in my self from exercise to comedy performances to blogging  to singing in the choir and ringing handbells. 

When the boys were little I was certainly a hands on mom.  I worked from home and that allowed me to spend a lot of time with them.  I will always be grateful for that.  That time with my boys was priceless and something I will never forget.  When I think of all the funny moments, the Kodak moments that I would have missed had my time been filled to the breaking point with unimportant things, I am so glad that I was able to spend my time with them.

When my mom was dying, I was able to spend time with her due to being laid off my job and a school schedule that worked out for me to spend a few days in Kingfisher each week.  I will always be grateful for that.   

The time I spent with my kids when they were young and the time I spent with my mother when she was alive AND when she was dying  falls into the category of time invested.  That was more than spending time.  That was investing time. 

Investing your time in someone is so much more valuable than investing your time in something that makes you money so you can give people things instead of time. 

I was thinking for a couple hours after seeing that sign about my time and how I use it.  I think I’ve achieved a pretty good balance.   I walked after the baby shower, a wise investment in time, I went to the store to buy birthday cards for some birthdays coming up , a wise investment in time because its investing my time to tell people I care about them…and then I rented the movie Courageous because someone said it was good and I was in the mood to just relax.

The movie, ironically was about dads investing their time in their children, what happens when there is no father around.  More than that though.  The deeper theme was about how short our time is here on earth and how unpredictable life is.  It was about making the most of the time we have; about relationships with our families, about faith and trusting and love.   It takes a huge loss for one father in the movie to realize how little time he has spent with his son and he sets out to remedy that.

I’m not picking on dads either.  I realize that there are just as many women that are struggling with jobs, and money and other time consuming issues that sometime cause them to lose sight of what really matters to them.  Sometimes finding a balance between work and Church and family and all the other things we do is a pretty big struggle.

My friend Jerri’s dad passed away last week.  She was devastated.  But I know that she had to also take comfort in knowing that her dad  knew how much she loved him. She showed it in so many ways; from the anniversary party she put together for her parent’s last year to the trip she took them on last summer.  Her loss has made me realize how little time I spend with my own dad.  I’ve been remiss about getting over to visit as often as I used to.  I’m going to change that and start going over more often.   

As soon as I find time.

Correction:  As soon as I MAKE time.   

And that’s my point.  When is the last time you made time for someone that you care about?  I have a friend that has a mother that calls her a lot.    Sometimes the phone calls she gets from her mother just to talk drive her bonkers.  She’s always saying I wish she’d find something to do with her time other than bother me.  And after I think “I’d give a million bucks to have a phone call from my mom everyday again” , I tell her “why don’t you go visit her or go take her to lunch or shopping or something”.  She obviously is lonely to which the response is always “I don’t have time”.  She does have time. She just doesn’t make time.  I would never say that to her directly.  I know she truly loves her mom.  She’s always buying her things and sending the gifts with various relatives that see her mother weekly.  The thing is, I know her mother and I know that her daughter spending an hour with her would mean a heck of a lot more than the new pricey purse she picked up for her at a sale at the mall. 

I read this in a magazine I was flipping thru the other day while waiting for my doctor to come in the room.  It made an impression on me.   I can’t remember it exactly but the gist of it was this

This man was telling a friend about his son who was turning 5 or 6 I think and had always given him a detailed wish list prior to his birthday down to where he wanted to eat, what he wanted to eat, what kind of cake and what toys he wanted and what store to find them at.  His son’s birthday was coming up and so he asked him what he wanted for his special day that year.  To his surprise the son didn’t come out with his usual perfectly planned day.  Instead he told his dad that he wanted a ball.  The dad pressed him for what kind of ball.  The son said, well it depends..If you think you are going to have some time to play ball with me I’d like a football so we can pass it to each other and stuff.  But if you are going to be too busy to play ball with me like you are now then I want a soccer ball cause I can kick it down the yard by myself and use the fence as my goal. He told his son he’d think about it and surprise him.  He was telling his wife about the conversation when all of the sudden it hit him.  His son wasn’t wanting a ball.  He wasn’t wanting a gift. He was wanting time from the giver.  He bought the football.  He stopped spending time after work watching the news  that he could watch when his son was in bed.  He started playing football with his son and has never regretted it.  It took a child to teach a man that time is so much more valuable than anything else we can give.

Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent.  ~Carl Sandburg

This year I plan to “spin” my time more wisely.  With my new husband (7 days and counting), with my family and friends, at Church and enjoying the things that are truly important to me.  Making every moment count seems like a pretty lofty goal but it’s worth a try.  I want to change this quote

Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent. ~Ambrose Bierce